Meditation Experiences

Last night, just before going to sleep, I decided I'd meditate. I was actually planning on doing it for a silly reason; I was putting my cards under my pillow and I was going to ask my cards if they had any cool ideas or designs for the purse I'm making. The components of this purse are very symbolic to me, and so I feel my cards may have some symbolic ideas for the design itself. I wanted to meditate to put myself into a dreamlike state, so that my subconscious would be the one asking, and would be more receptive to an answer, even once I let go of the controlled/guided meditation and released my mind to the dream world.

I say "controlled/guided" meditation, because I was doing this entirely on my own, controlling my breathing and my thoughts. I was in control of what those thoughts would be and where I wanted them to go, yet the images and senses I experienced would guide me toward the right direction. Like, my brain is a distant land, and my conscious mind knows it wants to meet my subconscious, it just needs to be guided on the right path to get there. I'm not sure if there is a better term for that, I haven't looked it up so I guess I'll have to do that sometime.

I began by closing my eyes, clearing my mind of everything, and only picturing my breathing. At first I was literally watching my chest rise and fall (in my mind) then the view changed to an overhead view of myself, but I was entirely shadow except for my chest, which was the only part of me I could physically see. I listened for the rhythmic in and out of my breathing, and although I wasn't sure what color I should be associating this with, suddenly, just with the thought of color, I began seeing yellow and a pinkish red; one for inhaling and one for exhaling, though I can't remember which was which. Slowly I brought to consciousness the rest of my body, starting with my feet and feeling each part of them, then moving up my legs, etc, till I was whole again. My feet were the only part of me I had to forcibly think about, the rest of myself followed naturally. I could see my entire self coming into view both as if I was tilting my head down and watching myself, and also as if from an overhead view.

Once I was whole again, within minutes of beginning this meditation, I felt a heaviness settle over me, as if someone had lain a large thick comforter over top me, but evenly across my entire body at once. This comforter not only laid on top of me but settled INTO me, becoming part of me, and then my body itself was heavy. There was a slight tingling sensation, as if a part of me had gone to sleep, but across my entire body, as if it was a part of that heaviness (that tingling you get when a body part goes to sleep, except 50% less "tingling" and 50% more "heavy"). Once again I'm not sure if there is a better term for that, I haven't looked that up either. I feel as if doing this on my own first, without really reading up on anything about it, I have a better chance of experiencing things more because I truly am experiencing them, and less because I read somewhere "that's what's supposed to happen."

I was shocked to see it hit me so quickly, I expected it to take longer and be harder to connect to, but there I was, just sort of drifting, my body heavy and although if I concentrated on a part of me I could feel it, I was... one. I was whole, though I don't think it was my body itself I was feeling this from. I decided that if I was going to ask my cards anything, I'd like to be in a comfortable place. Somewhere one friend could talk to another and be able to laugh and share things at ease. I felt a bit odd just floating in darkness--though it wasn't really "dark"... it wasn't really "light" either. It just.... was. It just was. So, I began to focus once more on my breathing, and see where it took me. I was brought to a beach. It was a bit chilly out, but the deep emerald of the ocean, the sea-foam green of the waves crashing against the light off-white eggshell of the sand... the sky was a light blue with streaks of grey and large puffy Cumulus clouds reaching ever upward. I could feel the sunlight at my back, and despite the chill in the air, the sand was nice and warm. I could literally feel the warmth radiating from the soles of my feet, begin to feel the sand itself between my toes; I could ACTUALLY smell the salt in the air, and hear the waves as they made their retreat back to the ocean, then rushed forward--gently--to wash up on the shore. If there was ever a beach I wanted to incorporate into my book, this world I was on was it. Though that thought didn't cross my mind until just now. =)

Anyways, so there I was on the beach. When suddenly, out of nowhere, someone steps in front of my view, and I was pulled back from this paradise into that "darness that wasn't dark" again. Everything seemed a smoky grey, not dark but not light. Light than dark, but not dark. I'm sorry, I really don't think I could explain it any better than that...

This person was a woman. She didn't seem to be wholly visible, though not transparent either. It was as if she was a sketch drawn on light smoky paper, outlined thinly in charcoal, but moving and in 3D. Okay actually the way she was in front of me and the way she moved don't seem to be possible at all, in any way I could describe it, so you'll just have to be satisfied with that description.

She had long hair that went down to the center of her back, yet it was disheveled. She seemed to be in her 40s, her face showed definite signs of the years. She had a crazed look on her face, and she was talking to me in a voice that I can only describe as annoying. She seemed somewhat rude and pushy, and she was apparently trying to get me to follow her, and although I took a few steps I did not initially like her. She really did seem somewhat crazy, and between her facial expressions that bunched her face up in unattractive positions and her bouncing around back and forth trying to get me to follow her, on top of her annoying and disrespectful tone of voice... I did not want to go anywhere with her.

I stood my ground and firmly told her no. I said that she had too much negativity surrounding her, and I would not allow myself contact or connection to one such as herself. I wanted positive influences and energy around me, I would ALWAYS surround myself with positivity, and I would not give in to negativity of any sort. I felt myself throwing positive energy at her, though I'm not sure if I was trying to push her away with it or surround her with it. She let out an exasperated sigh ("UGH!") And turned away from me stomping her foot, saying, "Fine! I'll stop! Geez." But then after she took a few steps away from me... she did stop. She just sort of... changed. Her hair was straight and healthy, her face had smoothed out and dropped nearly 20 years it seemed. She was smiling, and she was calm. She stepped back towards me till she was standing in front of me, and she seemed to be around my age now, asking me in a very pleasant voice if I would please follow her. It didn't seem like a trick of any sort, she did seem to be this nicer person, and so I began to follow her off in the distance, but we didn't get anywhere... after a few steps I found myself back on my beach, alone.

I glanced around and saw no sign of this mystery woman. I don't know if she was merely pretending to have been nice, or if my positive energy had transformed her that way, though after the thoughts I sent toward her, she did seem grateful. Once she was gone, I sort of "woke up" from my meditation, all thoughts of my purse-making gone at the time. Before I moved or sat up though, I concentrated on how I felt. I put my hand on top of my head to feel if it was warm, like it was the night I woke up at 2:00am and wrote myself that note; but it wasn't warm. I felt something was off though, and so I just ran my hands over various key points of my body and didn't have to search long. I felt that same warmth that I had felt before, this time directly in the center of my chest. It was located near my heart, but not off to the side as your heart is. Directly in the center. Does this have to do with the concentration I had on my breathing? Or the beach? Or this woman?

I don't know the answers to all of my questions; but what I do know is that I have a feeling I will be doing research on chakras this week. This is the second time a major part of my body, right down the center, has had this warmth, and I would like to know where all the chakras are located to see if they match up with the locations of the warming sensations.

I think I'll try meditating again tonight, and going back to my beach. Let's see if she comes back.

Made in Italy

I was just talking on the phone a few minutes ago, aimlessly glancing around the room as I did, and my eyes fell on the bottom end of my deck. I stopped speaking in mid-sentence.

There are three small words printed on the bottom:

MADE IN ITALY

I did not know my cards were made in Italy; this find amazes me and gives me one more reason to believe that these cards really were calling for me. With me being Italian (even though I have never been to Italy) it makes me feel as if my past and ancestry is reaching out to me through my cards.

I knew these cards called out to me. I knew they were right... Now there is no doubt.

Studying the Cards: Two-- The High Priestess

The interpretation given by my Everything Tarot book states:
When the High Priestess appears, she indicates that something hidden, or interior, is preparing to come forth. Or, that the person needs to pay more attention to his or her inner world of dreams, imagination, and intuition. She calls attention to the need to develop awareness of the totality of the person, the night side, so to speak, as well as the daylight personality and activities.
Usually, the person is ready to accept the importance of developing this part of his or her life, but may have been holding back out of fear or inertia.
Her appearance can indicate that the person is attempting to hide something that needs to be revealed, or it can mean that the person is too much involved in an isolated inner world and needs to reconcile the inner life with the outer one.
Psychologically, the underworld refers to the unconscious, or what is in the process of coming into being. In this twilight realm, of which dreams are a component, we encounter our inner selves through intuition and fantasy. The High Priestess is an image representing our potentials that have yet to be discovered and brought forth--our secret selves longing to be recognized.

For a reading:
You are experiencing a high degree of awareness of what I call "the invisible world," where inner change takes place before it manifests in the outer, material world. Your attunement to these inner, invisible sources is acute now, and you are in a position to take advantage of this fact. You may want to remove yourself, literally, from your day-to-day life in order to go deeper into your inner core and tune into your inner voice and spiritual awareness.

Description:
My book describes this card as representing that which has yet to be revealed, secret knowledge, the duality of life on Earth. It's a woman, serene-faced, usually sitting with a book or scroll representing the "Akashic records," telling of our past, present, and future. If standing, she usually has a staff and is pointing into the distance, another indication of something yet to be revealed. My card shows her standing, with a staff, though she is pointing with the same hand that holds the staff. Her other hand is holding something small, It may perhaps be a book but I can't tell. In most decks she is between two pillars, representing the dual opposites of nature (evil and good, truth and deception, light and dark, positive and negative). My High Priestess doesn't have the pillars, though her sash is of black and white ribbons entwining in the front. "The reconciliation of the opposites to those willing to follow the spiritual path of understanding universal law," as my book put it. The book tells that the Waite deck shows this card with a background of pomegranates, hinting at Persephone, who left the daylight to tend to the underworld... much like paying more attention to your inner "underworld" (intuition, imagination, and dreams) even if that means stepping away from your regular life for a while.

Details I've noticed:
On my card, the High Priestess first of all is set in a beautiful blue silk gown with a dark night sky behind her. Those dark, blue, night colors make me think of nighttime, and sleep, which fit perfectly with dreaming, intuition, and imagination. She has wings, so its message is one of the mind. She has elaborate decorations on her hair and face, and a purple pendant necklace. That reminds me again of the dreamingtt, intuition, and imagination; for where else but inside your mind do you find women accessorized so? She has some gray in her hair though it seems, perhaps alluding to her timeless, age-old wisdom. She holds a staff in one hand, with a magic ball on the end but the vision in the ball is smoky and unclear, as if she holds the key to knowledge not yet revealed. She is pointing downward, but you have to look to see that she is pointing at all, as if she wants to teach you more but you have to WANT to learn in order to pick up on it. She is pointing, which means she sees something or knows something is there, but I can't see it yet because, once more, it has yet to be revealed. Her staff also has an ankh on it, though my book says that a cross symbolizes the four elements and their balance; I agree with that symbolism, though her crystal ball is set into a crescent moon, so the dark side of the moon being more prominent is like, a warning to be cautious in what you choose to reveal at this time.
In her other hand, she is holding something, though I'm not sure what exactly. It might be a book, and if it's the Akashic Records than it's no wonder it's hard to see on the cards; who is every truly ready to see those things, and even if we could see it, how far ahead or behind our own time could we see or even comprehend?
Her sash is black on one side and white on the other, crossing each other directly over her center. It appears to be the meeting of opposites. She is standing on a crescent moon, which I'm sure symbolizes the same as her staff's moon, warning that caution must be taken when revealing something as-yet unknown. There are butterflies all around her on this card, though I'm not sure they represent merely rebirth and renewal this time. I think they also symbolize transformation. Accepting who you are, both past, present, and future, in both your conscious and subconscious states.
She wears a crown with a crescent moon, and a full moon above it.
So, taking what I know, I can say that by looking at my card, the night scene with butterflies means I see something from the inner Self being released or discovered. The sash at her waist tells me that this card is about your inner, "underworld" self meeting and fusing to your outer consciousness. Based on her book, she knows all. She has the knowledge you seek, both inside yourself and out. Because she is pointing, you don't know what she is pointing at, so there is definitely something unknown.
It's all about connecting your subconscious (dreams, intuition, and imagination) with your consciousness. Take control of them, manifest what you want and need in life subconsciously, and stay positive! This is a mental "transformation" stage, with acceptance and inner discovery.

Update:
Today is February 8th, 2014 and I am adding a small update to what I have already studied. I still view this card as representing our inner subconscious, the underworld of dreams, and intuition. This card tells us that something hidden is preparing to come forth, or that it is time for something to be revealed. It reminds us to search inside ourselves, perhaps withdrawing from our physical world to look deeper and listen to our inner voices. It is very much a card of duality between male and female, positive and negative, light and dark, subconscious and conscious, dreaming and waking. In my recent studies I have learned to view the ankh on her staff as a symbol representing eternal life, as well as representing the duality of male and female. This card ensures we remember to take what we learn from our inner selves and apply it to our physical worlds. I have also taken a closer look in her hand and dont believe she is holding anything, though the ribbon that hands off the back of her dress does seem to be hanging from her fingertips. Even if she is not holding anything, she still represents knowledge and understanding. She does indeed hold the key to knowledge and wisdom, and everything I said earlier about her pointing still holds true for me. I believe the crescent moon that is present in three places of this card represents three things: (1) the moon itself represents our inner selves and our subconscious, the underworld, dreams, and intuition as well as the feminine; (2) the waxing crescent represents things coming into being, knowledge being revealed, truths coming to light; (3) the crescent moon represents the dark side of the moon being more prominent, which cautions that you must be careful in what knowledge you choose to illuminate at this time.

Yet ANOTHER dream

I wish more of these posts were studying cards rather than linking to dreams.... So I'm going to fix that. If I want to read the dreams I've been having, I'll just go to my dream journal, My Sleeping Journey. I don't want to load my Tarot Journal up with dreams; that is what the dream journal is for in the first place. I will just have to label when a dream has occurred with my cards under my pillow; as a matter of fact I will actually use labels. =)

Either way, this will be the last random post just informing of my dreams. (Here's a link to my dream from last night).

Blur of Color, But Not a Dream

Well, last night was the first night since I began putting my cards under my pillow that I didn't necessarily "dream". Although I think it might be my own fault, I went to bed late and woke up early, and have been unable to go back to sleep, I think it's worth it. I went to bed late because I was laughing and snuggling up with my hubby, and I got up early and decided that since I couldn't sleep, rather than laying down till I drifted off, I would get online and start doing surveys.

However, just because I didn't "dream" doesn't mean I slept in darkness. Throughout the few hours I did sleep, I saw an array of colors and shapes and sounds and music. I felt motion. I was somewhere, doing something, I just can't remember much or pick out any particular shapes, colors, sounds, or movements.

I seem to recall something as if I was running through Azeroth in World of Warcraft... but as myself. That is the only tangible notion in a long string of intangibility that I can even attempt to grasp onto from last night. But in all the blur that there was, I don't want to actually label that as a "dream."

I think I'm going to try to study another card today though. Out of 78 cards, I would really rather go through the deck initially in less than 78 days...

Studying the Cards: One-- The Magician

The interpretation given by my Everything Tarot book states:
The appearance of the Magician in a reading indicates latent powers, yet to be taken up and brought into manifestation. Also known as the "Juggler," this card suggests that everything in the universe is spread out before us for us to learn to use correctly to manifest the results we desire. These are literally the basic materials of creation and it is the task of the Magician to handle them well, to manipulate and control them for beneficent purposes. This is mental work that affects the material realm.
Thus, the Magician shows us that what we consider to be illusion is another form of reality, and what we consider to be reality can be mere illusion. This is not trickery but a deep understanding of how we must learn to use our intellects, our intuitive abilities, our personal talents, and our practical skills in order to mediate between the two worlds, both of which affect us simultaneously.
The Magician is a card of power, for just as a mage, or true magician, stands at the center of the universe with the tools and ability to manipulate it for his purposes, so does each of us create, or recreate, our own universes within ourselves, first in our minds, and then in our manifest realities. This card tells us that our nature is one with the nature of the universe. It suggests that we have the ability to control our own lives, that we can manipulate people, things, and events--so long as we go about it the right way and for the right ends.
This card is primarily about self-development; as Tarot Arcanum One, it is the beginning of the road to spiritual enlightenment, the starting point. It does not say that we are already able to control our universes, but that we must learn what mode to use in order to gain our ends and reach our goals, whether they are strictly mundane or whether they are intended to stretch us spiritually.

For a reading:
This is a situation of new beginnings and new choices. It indicates someone who is willing and able to manipulate the situation in order to achieve the desired ends. It indicates leadership potential, ambition, desire for action, and new relationships coming into being. The tools for whatever action is desired are already at hand, as is the knowledge for using them correctly. This is a key point: any use of the Magician's power for improper end will backfire. It is a time to evaluate the tools you have at your disposal and relate them properly to your aims.

Description:
The book describes the Magician as almost always a man (as it is in my card) standing alone (as it is in my card) before an array of the traditional magician's tools (which it states in most decks are the symbols of the Minor Arcana suits). My card does have the four Minor Arcana symbols, though not in an array in front of him; instead in my card he is either holding them or they are draped around him in some way. He is holding a wand, although on my card he has both arms aimed downwards but held out to the sides; in the book he is shown as having one hand raised to the heavens and his other hand aimed at the Earth, symbolizing a connection between the spiritual and physical world.
The book describes that in the Waite deck, he has grape vines above him and roses and lilies below him, symbolizing a sacred drink (wine), purity, desire, the 5 senses, and proper use of arcane knowledge. His costume itself changes by deck, but he always wears a belt. In my deck the garb is somewhat... "viking" is it makes me think of. Ironic really, since I was led by accident to a webpage earlier today telling me of the Tesseract... and the movie Thor connected that Tesseract to the norse gods. The book describes the ourobouros, or snake biting his tail, an alchemical symbol for wholeness. That is not represented on my card, at least not in that way... my Magician has a coiled tattoo on his right (my left) arm. The book says he can therefore be connected to the power of healing through connecting the two worlds within one's self.

Details I've noticed:
On my card, the Magician is a man with long hair and wings. The wings I always associate with the mind. So he represents something inside oneself. Being that the card IS number One, it is a beginning. The "starting point" as the book worded it. The card before this, the Fool, represents the leap of faith and trusting in the universe to lead you down the right path; the opening up of oneself to the Universe with trust and faith. This card is the beginning of a new life once that opening has occurred; the starting point of a spiritual and mental journey. The Magician in my card holds both a wand and a cup; fire and water. Opposites that need each other. Yin and yang, perhaps? He has a pentacle and a sword hanging around his neck, giving him all four of the Minor Arcana suits represented and within his grasp. He has the infinity loop on his belt, and he has a coiled tattoo on his upper arm, his other upper arm displays a line with three spikes coming off it in different directions. Three aiming up and three aiming down. I believe that symbol to represent the coming together of the upper and lower worlds; of the spiritual world and the Earthly world. The coil might represent the ourobouros as other cards show, but the two ends do not meet. I don't think they have to though, since he has wholeness throughout his entire card.
He has a white dove below him, and two black birds above him. Black and white; yin and yang yet again. I don't think they are meant to mean opposites, but rather two halves of a whole. He is also standing above the moon, and he is illuminated as if the sun is behind him. The power of the night world, the spirit world, meeting the power of the sun, the source of all life. This card just radiates the energies of spirit and the physical world meeting.
As the book describes, he has all those symbols of knowledge and power, with all these symbols either being a part of him or within his reach, and so he is very powerful and knowledgeable. He himself almost appears to be glowing, as if he is magick incarnate; and using the elements (the symbols) and the power of the mind (the wings) he can change the way things work, to make them go the way he wants. I do not want to use the term "manipulate" because that word in general sounds wrong. He reminds me that we all have a power inside ourselves, and that positive thought itself can change our lives. If I look at him and not at the rest of the card, it almost seems as if the dove and crescent moon at the bottom form a flower; a pure, white flower. Peace and positivity. The black birds above him, I just noticed, are flapping at different paces. One has it's wings aiming down, the other has it's wings aiming up; this tells me that although they are different, they are both the same. They are flying to a different "beat", yet they are both black birds. Reality and Illusion, one and the same regardless of their differences.

I have come to absolutely love this card after learning about it.

Update:
Today is February 7th, 2014 and I am going back over the cards I have already studied. I still love The Magician card, and have actually found an interesting new thing to associate with him. On my card, he has a clockwise coil on his upper arm. In my recent studies, I've learned that clockwise (deosil) is symbolic of creation and positive energy. And since the Magician is all about using the tools laid out before you to create your manifest reality, I think it quite fitting that he would have a symbol of creation.

Note to Self at 2:00am

I got up this morning and found that I had written myself a "note" on my phone's notepad app during the night. I do vaguely recall waking up, I remember hearing something and getting up and walking through the house, and after reading my note I do remember it all, though I know I would not have remembered a thing had I not taken the time to record it. So, thank you subconscious, for making me do so. Here's what I wrote.

It's 2:20am. I just woke up, though I'm not sure I was really sleeping. I could feel that swirling imagery of emotion in my head, the same feeling I get with the remnants of a dream fading. Except there was no dream to recall. Is this feeling simply me entering or leaving my subconscious? Or was there a dream I was not allowed to remember? Either way it gives me something to think about... With or without answers, however, I was reminded of a few things.

First of all, I had this feeling. I was still not in full consciousness; my eyelids were heavy... I could only barely open them. Not that I wanted to, but I felt comforted by the view of my surroundings, even if I could only just make out the ceiling and the soft blue glow of my computer. I couldn't move, my entire body felt as heavy as my eyelids, yet in proportion. If I had willed it, I think I could have moved. But my mind was elsewhere.

I had a random flash of a Harry Potter movie. It was a part of I believe the 5th or 6th one, or some combination of the two. It was a part where Harry is seeing a vision of the snake move down a hall, but I could see Harry with his hands on his head, not wanting to watch, and I could hear a voice gliding through the air telling him to train his mind, because "the bond goes both ways, you know." That part I heard loud and clear. I was then shown another view of Harry Potter, this time from the 4th movie. Harry was talking to Cedric Diggory. It was just after Harry had told him that the first challenge would be dragons, and Cedric was telling Harry "mull it over" in the water.

Though I have yet to consider why this was shown to me via Harry Potter other than because it's familiar to me and easy to understand, I believe this was a message. I don't know if it originated in my cards or my subconscious; but I believe them to be telling me that the bond between my mind and the cards goes both ways, if I only relax and take the time to think about it.

The second thing I was reminded of was that in the last few dreams I've had, there has been a snake. Sometimes it's been a prominent player in the dream and easily remembered, other times it was a side distraction given nothing more than a passing glance or a fleeting moment of fear and alarm. As many things as a snake might represent, my first instinct was that it represented temptation. I will not disregard this instinct, though I may still study this creature deeper, in search of hidden layered meanings.

The first temptation that comes to mind is World of Warcraft, and I can see why that might haunt me, since I once had an incredibly horrible addiction to the game and I have just recently given it a second chance while limiting myself, though I'm proud to know it doesn't always take center stage.

The second "Temptation" that comes to mind was more of  an involuntary chain thought exercise, and is the reason I'll be going back to sleep with "My Girl" playing in my head.

There was a quiet pulsating sound in my head as well when I was truly awake and able to move again. I'm not sure what it was but it made me uneasy, so I got up and walked through the house just sort of checking on things. I may have been overreacting because of the realization of snakes being so prominent without my realizing... either way, the house was fine. I did unplug the aquarium pump on the back porch though, as the water level is so low in the sump that it wasn't moving water. I'll have to fill it tomorrow.

I regret that I am still a bit jumpy right now... While in the living room during my search of the house, I felt... watched. I swore I could hear someone, somewhere, somehow... But there was no one there. Right now, sitting up in bed, I swear I just heard a thump as if someone had put their feet down on the floor, and a light scuffling as if taking a few steps but dragging their feet. I looked across the hall at the kids--I have an unobstructed view of them in their bed if I lean over the side of mine--but they are still sound asleep. It's this feeling of being monitored, not stared at or watched but simply monitored, that has me in this state of unease. I keep looking up at the hallway, as if expecting something to be there. Heaven help me when I glance up and something truly is there.

Except... somehow I feel like this "presence" is in my mind. I can feel a heaviness at the front of my mind. Not the front of my head; the front of my mind. On my head this feeling is actually located at the very top of my head (at the crown) and in the sides just above my ears.

!!!!!! Just now in an effort to use touch as a way to help me pinpoint this heaviness, I was running my fingers over my head, letting the sense of touch sort of "highlight" small sections at a time, so I could concentrate on individual parts of my head to detect this feeling. When I touched the very top of my head just now, it was warm! It was... heated. I ran my fingers back over other parts of my head, and they were cold. Not like, freezing or anything, but normal-- not heated. How incredible!

Well, I think it's time for me to go back to sleep, lest I miss out on the opportunity for a memorable dream tonight.

Sleep well, Dreamer.

I vaguely recall the heaviness I spoke of, both at the beginning and at the end. I recognize the feeling of being so heavy you cant move, or moving would be very difficult-- it's the same feeling I used to get when I meditated after doing yoga. I remember also the feeling of heaviness in my head; I had a headache before going to sleep and I had at first thought it was my headache returning, but I realized the heaviness was different; it was heavy, but not painful. I have experienced this before, though I can't recall any particular times.

I know of the parts of the movies I saw, though I don't believe I saw them the same way they actually played out in the movies. The message there is indeed clear, though I also don't know why it was shown to me via Harry Potter.
...I did not mean to type "also" just now. I was the one who wrote this, and so I should have said, "I still don't know", not also.
Perhaps it is the magic that is Harry Potter and that world of Hogwarts, and the magick of connecting to your true and inner Self.

I feel the need to point out that even in that small flash of Harry Potter, I saw a snake. I looked through the dreams I have posted the last few nights, and there have indeed been snakes in them. I don't know why this never occurred to me sooner. I'm not sure if there was a snake during my dream last night with my stepmom and the club, but having the snake in the Harry Potter flash still leaves me with a snake last night. I remember in my Ice Games dream there was a snake at the ice lockers and I thought I would find one behind the bed. In my Underwater Farm dream Mike had killed a strange, poisonous, yet non-aggressive snake. In my Walmart Trip there was a snake in the store. In my Boss Fights and Soup dream, although I was unable to see the boss, I know it to be a large snake. My Dragon King IS a giant serpent. There was a snake crossing my path in my Slenderman dream, and Slender himself seems to have black snakelike tendrils of darkness emanating from behind him. In the Dorm dream there was a snake in the dorm room, though I wouldn't have seen him while dreaming because he was hidden in the corner under trash, only his head poking out. This means that there has been a snake in my mind every single night since I began putting my cards beneath my pillow. I think this requires a lot more examination than just "World of Warcraft is in the back of my mind" though I do believe that has something to do with it.

I remember very well my feeling of unease and fear, and getting up and walking through the house. I remember hearing things, and turning only to see nothing. I am usually very good at rationalizing such sounds, knowing "that was the dog at the front door" or "the window in the kitchen is open and the breeze pushed the door a bit" but last night I couldn't come up with anything that satisfied my anxiety.

That song is still stuck in my head. -____-

The presence in my mind and the warmth on my head... those still amaze me. To have felt those things! I can't quite recall them right now, much like when you try to recall a dream and the emotions begin to fade from you until it's nothing but a fanciful story... I know I felt them but I can't make myself feel them now. I find myself touching the top of my head every time I think about it, wondering what it could mean. It makes me think of the flow of energy running through me, although I know I have horrible posture and my chakras are not aligned at all.

Keeping the cards under my pillow is doing more than I expected. I am still sticking to my new plan, to keep them under my pillow until the first night that I do not dream. They have shown me just how powerful they are... I have a deep respect for my cards, one they have very much earned these past eight nights. I think I'm going to study another card today.

Still Dreaming...

I haven't had time to study another card the past few days because I've been so busy dreaming!

Saturday night's dream
Sunday night's dream
Monday night's dream

 I know I told myself I would stop putting my cards under my pillow after a week; meaning that last night would have been the last night. But the fact that for the past seven nights I have had a different emotion-triggering dream every single night? I can't stop now. What if there is more to be transferred to my cards? What if there is more emotions and feelings to be brought to light? I will continue to put my cards under my pillow until the first night I don't dream. If that night is tonight, then so be it. But I will put them there anyways, just in case...

Studying the Cards: Zero--The Fool

The interpretation given by my Everything Tarot book states:
When the Fool appears in a reading, depending on its position in the layout, it is an indication of someone who is about to embark on a new way of life. This may involve a physical journey, such as changing where one lives, starting a new job, or getting married or divorced. Often, the appearance of the Fool indicates one who is ready to start on a spiritual path, who has made peace with the need to experience absolute faith and trust in the Universe. In such a case, the person has no sense of worry or fear and feels that protection is in play and that everything will turn out well. The person may be consciously in touch with the intuitive realm of his or her being, or he or she may simply be enjoying a state of naivete and innocence about what the future will bring. The Fool represents a state of openness and is relying on his inner truth to support his adventure.

For a reading (All interpretations for readings will be for the upright position; I don't typically use reversed card definitions.):
At this time, you are out of sync with the rest of the world, but in a positive way. You may want to go out on your own, "Full speed ahead and damn the torpedoes." Or, you may feel somehow isolated from the general group, a loner. Your experience of the current situation is different from those around you, which may make you feel as if you are marching to a different drummer, and you probably are. You need to honor that "Different drummer," for that is the true beat of your authentic self trying to get your attention.

Description:
The book describes the Fool as a male figure about to step off the edge of a cliff. My card portrays a female, but doing the same thing. The fall off her cliff appears to be above a lake, so even if she were to fall she would not die. She is looking back over her shoulder completely unaware or unconcerned with the edge of the cliff. She is young, as the book says most Fool cards are, though she carries absolutely nothing with her. The book describes the Fool as sometimes carrying a rose with the sun at his back; my card shows neither the sun nor any rose, though the sky behind her gets lighter, like a pink sunrise. Her outfit is simple, and rose-colored. The book says that sometimes the Fool has a dog companion; my card does not, but has 15 butterflies, forming a sort of unorganized row around her and upwards behind her.

Details I've noticed:
She is carefree and innocent; she looks behind her with a smile, and although one foot dangles off the edge of a cliff, she doesn't seem to care. The way she holds her foot, I think she knows that there is no ground beneath her, but she seems to trust in nature to lead her where she needs to go. She is barefoot, something I think has great meaning. She is in her natural state, perhaps that is a spiritual sign. Her skirt has ribbons coming off of it, wrapping around her leg, and the lower butterflies in the stream of them seem to be taking hold of her skirt, as if they are going to lift her up and carry her to safety. Flight in general to me seems to be spiritual or mental journey. There is light in the sky behind her, though it reminds me more of a sunrise than a sunset. The book says the sun represents the source of all life.

So, to apply the details I noticed to the interpretation the book gives me, I can look at the card and see that it might, at times, represent a loner. Someone about to embark on a journey of some kind. She is innocent and carefree, and trusts in her instinct, intuition, and nature (Universe) to lead her safely; she knows that everything will work out. Stepping off the cliff represents the proverbial "leap of faith", but she is smiling so she knows the Universe will guide her well. She looks at the butterflies as friends, so she has absolute trust in both the Universe and possibly her inner Self, and holds no fear or worry for what the future might bring.

Update:
It is February 7th, 2014 and I am reviewing the cards I have already studied. Looking back over The Fool, I still see a lot of the things I saw before. She is ready to begin a new journey,  whether that is a new job, a new relationship, or a new spiritual path. She has put her faith in the universe and will trust it to lead her where she needs to go. It may set her on a path apart from others, and her way might be different, but she needs to accept that difference and continue her own way.

More Dreams!

Okay so Im a day behind on this, but the other night I had four dreams in one night! Two of them were related, and were about the Dragon King. The last two were very long and extremely vivid though, so I still haven't finished writing the dream of the Dragon King. I put links below for Part One, which has the first two dreams I had that were unrelated, and Part Two, which is the first dream about the Dragon King. I will edit this and link Part Three when I'm done writing it, which will contain the last dream.
The Dragon King (and Other Dreams) Part One
The Dragon King (and Other Dreams) Part Two

Then, last night, I had yet another dream, that was again four dreams in one night! (Here's a link to that specific dream.) These were not nearly as vivid, but still incredibly emotional and I am definitely noticing different emotions in each dream I've had these past four nights.

Sleeping with my cards under my pillow at night is doing wonders for connecting myself to my subconscious, as well as for transferring my energy into the cards. I had planned on doing this for one week, though it's already been half of a week and the dreams are still coming at me strong. I may just do this until the first night in which I don't dream.

Either that, or maybe there is a way to ask myself for certain things in my dreams. Perhaps find a way to alter my own dreams while I'm awake... then I can work my way into controlling my dreams while I'm in them? Sort of like, a dreamwalker. That would be intense, and very interesting. Though I doubt I'll ever achieve that level of subconscious connection.

Now that I've said that, I wonder if my dream tonight will portray doubt?

I have been meaning to begin studying the individual cards, but with all these dreams to record I haven't had the time. I doubt I'll have the time today either, since I still have to finish the Dragon King. Perhaps within the next few days.

Another Dream

I didn't have time today to start up with my in-depth study of the cards. However, I slept with the cards under my pillow again last night, and had another vivid dream! (Here's a link to that specific dream.) This time the dream was entirely about Fear.

I doubt it's coincidence that both nights I had the cards under my pillow, I had vivid dreams. The first dream was very emotional, and by that I mean my emotions were all over the place. I felt so many separate emotions in that dream that I couldn't help but think upon awakening that my subconscious was transferring my thoughts and feelings into the cards. Last night, with the dream being entirely about Fear, I think my subconscious was transferring my hopes and fears into the cards. Although very little did I feel hope during last night's dream...

I told myself when I first got this deck that I was going to sleep with it under my pillow for the first week, specifically for the purpose of transferring my own thoughts and energy to the cards, most specifically the thoughts and energy directly from my subconscious itself. I daresay it's working! I'm looking forward to seeing what kinds of dreams I have the next few nights, although now that I've noticed a pattern it would just be my luck that I won't have any dreams at all now. I should be thankful I was able to be "mentally present" for what transference has already taken place; it lets me know just what parts of me the cards are already in tune with.

Sometimes I forget that this isn't just about me getting to know the cards, but about the cards also getting to know me. Whether or not I dream the next few nights, I know I have already started on a journey that will take me farther than I had imagined.

My Cards at a Glance: First Impressions (Minor Arcana)

I had to split the post on my first impressions of the Minor Arcana into two parts, it was getting a bit long. This post will have the suit of Swords and suit of Cups.

Minor Arcana

Swords
King: There seems to be things flying in every single Swords card, either butterflies or what looks like crows/ravens. Some sort of black bird. I'm leaning toward Raven, since this king has large black wings. He seems to radiate energy.
Queen: So many butterflies! And she also has butterfly wings. I know swords represent Air, so that could be why there are so many wings. I like this card. Even with the sword in her hand, it calms me.
Knight: On a pegasus, of course! This card makes me... not sad, but... cautious?
Page: Swords are so dark and often bleak. Nothing around but herself and the ravens...Even the crown of light above her head still makes me feel... alone. As if the only comfort is in my own mind.
Ace: This card makes me think of the swords in old legends. King Arthur, the Master Sword of Zelda, the sword all great princes use to slay the beast and rescue his princess.
Two: Hm. She's blindfolded... that is the first thing I noticed, and the first thing I thought was "trust your instinct".
Three: In my starter deck, this card always made me think of the Three Musketeers... one of them betraying the others, and the band broken up after years of good memories and worthy causes. This card, though, makes me feel heartbroken and sad. A love lost, that can never be had again.
Four: She seems so full of life, yet her beauty is being forgotten, lost, covered up... This card is screaming at me that it has a deep meaning I should know, but I can't seem to place it...
Five: Betrayal. Expected, though? It hurts, but I can't help but notice he carries more swords... presumably to betray others with.
Six: This card makes me think of an ending. Like, she's just finished an unwanted battle, and is throwing down her swords for good and leaving them behind, saddened that she had to pick them up at all. I'm not sure how I can think those things when you can't even see her face... but that's just what it makes me think of.
Seven: This card doesn't seem to tell me anything. Whatever the message is, I don't see it at first glance. It's just... unclear to me.
Eight: I think I've felt like this before. Trapped, blindfolded, no way to go, yet being pulled in all different directions. Unsure what's going on, helpless, having no control... A prisoner in your own mind, perhaps?
Nine: I was afraid of this card, I've never liked it. I'm not afraid of it in this deck, but I still don't like it much. All of these swords have ravens on them, and none of them have handles. I don't like that. It's something you can't grasp, you can't control, it's... intangible? It's still fear, in some way.
Ten: First thought: Overkill. Something is officially over, whether it's an aspect of life or a dream... but it still gives me some glimmer of hope, since I can see what to me looks like her spirit floating over her body. The body is gone, but the spirit lives on. That is a positive message in an otherwise negative seeming card.

Cups
King: He seems a wise and peaceful king.
Queen: She seems... knowing. But not of knowledge... either your emotions or thoughts, it's like she can see right through me to what I'm really thinking or feeling, regardless of what I show. It's a bit unnerving, but she also seems caring. Like, it's okay.
Knight: Reminds me of that glorious prince that rides in to save the princess. He's handsome, flashy, yet simple and still strong. Is his character as strong as it seems?
Page: This is the image on the box cover. She's beautiful, open, trusting, caring, thoughtful... a wonderful card, and a wonderful person.
Ace: Despite all the symbols of the phases of the moon, the beautiful flowers, and the dragonflies, all I can think of when I see this card is that the cup is overflowing. It's so full that it's overflowing... I like this card though, so I don't think it's a bad thing. Success, maybe? Something positive?
Two: I love this card. It's beautiful. Man and woman in their simplest selves, interacting, sharing, loving. This card reminds me of exactly how I felt when I first fell in love with my husband. When it feels like you're the only two people in the world... *happy sigh*
Three: This makes me think of friendship. Of differences working together in harmony. Good vibes from this card.
Four: Daydreaming... happy dreams.
Five: Aww, this card makes me want to cry... Actually, I think I AM starting to cry. It's so sad! Next card please... =(
Six: Even though its a woman and a child, this reminds me of an older sister helping or passing on wisdom to her younger sister. I like it.
Seven: I've always liked the Seven of Cups, and this card is no different. It makes me think of fantasy and dreams, and every cup offering something different. And all being offered, as well.
Eight: Hm... not a single cup is standing, and she's walking away (with the help of a branch, it's always nice to know help is there if you need it) but even though this card makes me think of loss, or leaving, there is a path in front of her. It doesn't make me sad. It's like, "next chaper of life".
Nine: Is this the famous "wish card"? That's the first thing that came to mind. Making a wish...
Ten: Oh what a beautiful, beautiful card! I love it! Man, woman, and child. Together, embraced in love. A family, a wonderful family, filled with love and nurturing. A wonderful card to end the impressions on.

This deck is amazing. I felt something for nearly every card, and the ones I felt nothing strong for were still beckoning me to learn more. I love how the different suits also represent different seasons; I think each season goes well with the suits they represent. It all fits together in harmony, in balance. I like that there are cards in each suit that I like, and cards in each suit that I don't very much care for. I feel stronger connections to the cards in this deck than I ever have to any deck I've seen before. So many of the cards had so many other symbols and things going on in the card, I wanted to just keep typing and going into more and more detail! But this is just the first impressions, the detail will come later in individual studies of each card. But I am excited to do those studies!

I am going to try my best to withhold my yearning for the cards, and take care of my daily chores. And eat lunch! It's important not to forget to eat. I'll return tomorrow, and start back with the Major Arcana, taking a card or two a day and studying them in depth. Today, the map has been laid out. Tomorrow, the journey begins.

My Cards at a Glance: First Impressions (Minor Arcana)

Yesterday I opened my deck for the first time, and took note of my first impressions of each of the Major Arcana. Last night, I slept with my deck under my pillow, safely back in it's box. I need to find a nice soft silk or felt pouch to store them in. I dreamed such a wild vivid dream! (Here's a link to that specific dream.) Nearly every emotion one can imagine was felt in this dream... it's as if my mind shared itself with the cards, and I got to watch the transference of memory and emotion and thought. I'll keep the deck under my pillow every night this week, I think.

This morning, I am ready to do the first impressions of the Minor Arcana. I'm going to start with Wands, then go through Pentacles, Swords, and Cups. King, Queen, Knight, Page, Ace, then 2-10.

Minor Arcana

Suit of Wands
King: Powerful, courageous; I love the suit of wands. He is a leader I would look up to.
Queen: She, too, is powerful. She seems proud to stand at her King's side, yet a force to be reckoned with on her own. This card has always been my Significator--and after seeing this card in this deck, that hasn't changed.
Knight: He appears ready to charge into battle, but... something about him seems off...
Page: Peaceful and guarded; this card seems to say, "I will take action when it's called for, but I would prefer to stay peaceful."
Ace: Pure and natural power of nature. The power of fire, but to be used for good, not for destroying.
Two: It's like there's something beyond the card I should be seeing... it's like, if I stare hard enough into the distance of the card, I'll see it.
Three: The lighted ball she carries is casting it's light in two different directions, but as much as that ball should be the focal point of the card, my attention is constantly drawn to the tiny dragon in the foreground.
Four: Love. Possibly forbidden, or at least not looked upon favorably by all. But, one that is simple, and to be enjoyed while it lasts.
Five: This one is hard... I have different thoughts that come to mind, but the first thing I thought is that in the image on the card, the lions are fighting (but not trying to kill each other) and one boy is telling the other two to leave them be and let them fight it out for themselves. That it will be okay.
Six: Power, peace, control. Courage, pride, and understanding. I think I like this card.
Seven: This card makes me feel like I'm going into battle, outnumbered, but holding my ground. Hard times, maybe?
Eight: Unicorns! The image is eight unicorns. I'm not sure what to think right away, but I do know that the "wands" on this card are the unicorn horns, and that unicorns are very powerful yet peaceful creatures. Very magickal. I wonder what this card means? I'm intrigued. Can't wait to study this card in depth at a later date.
Nine: A darker card... This one does seem to have fallen upon hard times. Makes me think of contemplation and consideration of options, or consideration of surrender. The lion in the image does tell me that sometimes, it takes a lot of courage to give up on a losing battle.
Ten: Starting a new journey, heading off into the sunset. But prepared! Well prepared.

Suit of Pentacles
King: This suit really shows the earthiness of pentacles. This king seems all-natural, as if he treats himself as one with the forest, not above it. A wise king indeed.
Queen: Hm. I like the picture on the card, but I'm not sure I really like this queen in general. She seems to carry herself in a way that says she thinks she IS better than everyone else; she seems proud of her earthly possesions.
Knight: Peaceful, harmless, and innocent.
Page: This card makes me feel completely in-tune with nature. At the same time it makes me feel like it doesnt matter how much money I have, I enjoy what I have. Like, the value of a dollar rather than the quantity of dollars?
Ace: This card makes me feel like life is simple. I've never had such a positive connection to Pentacles before. I've always associated them with nothing but money; but now with this deck, pentacles seems to have returned to their rightful place as a representation of Earth, rather than always monetary value. I like it!
Two: The way she's standing she seems to be balancing, and with the two pentacles on her arms, she has to balance everything just right, or either she falls, or one of the pentacles falls.
Three: A household working hard at daily chores. A marriage in it's mundane life. Oddly enough the pentacles, although on a downward slope of a vine, to me seem as if they're rolling UP the vine. I wonder if that means anything?
Four: This card makes me think of a leprechaun guarding their pot of gold. She has quite a bit of it, but she's holding on for dear life. I like that not only does she have gold stored in her tree, but the tree itself is fruitful. Success! I don't like how tightly she holds on though...
Five: This card makes me think of a family going through hard times. Good times are right around the corner, so keep your hopes up, and for now just remember that you always have each other. This card makes me want to hug my children tight and tell them that I love them.
Six: I like this card. Reaping what you sow, nature helping you, as if life is easy somehow... Money growing on trees, haha. A wonderful fantasy. I could just imagine this card popping up during a reading, in the "hopes and fears" position.
Seven: Seems to be another successful card, relaxing with what you have and enjoying life.
Eight: This card seems... poor, and sorrowful, yet hopeful. You get what you give; work hard and one day you will have more... in time. As sad as it makes me, I like this card. It's still a positive message. Now I understand what my book was telling me when it said you should find a deck you sympathize with.
Nine: This card seems to be showing off. But not on purpose, if that makes sense. It's beautiful, regal, exotic, yet simple and fanciful.
Ten: I'm not sure what this card is saying, but I like it. I have a feeling I could stare at this card all day and just let my mind wander with it.

My Cards at a Glance: First Impressions (Major Arcana)

I am just now about to open my new deck and see my cards (in person) for the first time. I want to record which cards I feel a strong connection for, and which I honestly feel nothing for.

My first note is the little white booklet that comes with any deck of tarot cards. I skimmed through it, glancing over some of the meanings on cards that I am already familiar with, and looking at the recommended spreads (the Celtic Cross was the only one shown). I don't think I'll be using their booklet with my cards, as I'm comfortable with my Everything Book and the meanings it gives me. However when I get into the deeper study of my cards, I will be sure to incorporate the meanings in the booklet for added clarification and contemplation.

The image on the back of the cards is beautiful. Soft colors, but staring at the back of the card doesn't bring any specific thoughts or emotions to mind... it's gentle, with a crystal ball in the center and all four suits represented in the corners. It sort of reminds me of staring into the sky in the early morning or early evening, just relaxing watching the clouds go by. It's very peaceful, and I think good for helping me keep my mind clear while working with my cards.

Major Arcana
0- The Fool: Makes me catch my breath, as if I'm waiting for something to happen, or wanting to call out a warning. I love the butterflies; they are a sign of rebirth and renewal.
1- The Magician: Very powerful.
2- The High Priestess: Night... but, safe. More butterflies. =)
3- The Empress: Every time I see this card, I keep thinking she looks pregnant. I think butterflies will be a common accessory in this deck, and that's a good thing. I do like this card.
4- The Emperor: Power again...
5- The Hierophant: Very spiritual. Accepting of all religions, though a harmony of them all. I'm not sure if it's the religious symbols on the card, but for some reason I don't really like this card. I don't hate it, but I don't like it either.
6- The Lovers: Such a beautiful card. Peace, love, harmony, all that wonderful hippie stuff. Calming.
7- The Chariot: Seems quite regal, for as simple as it is. The horses are black and white, I wonder if that means anything?
8- Strength: I love this card. It resonates power, not just physically "strength" but mentally; the woman has a staff/wand in her hand, so it IS very powerful. She seems so confident and at ease, yet her pose says that she could be ready to move at a moments notice. Maybe I connect with this card so much because I am a Leo, and it has a lion on it?
9- The Hermit: Sad seeming, yet beautiful. The light she holds is what makes such a darkly colored lonely card seem so full of hope.
10- Wheel of Fortune: This card gives off positive energy, but nothing specific comes to mind. Nothing on the card makes me think of any feelings or traits... even the symbols of sun and moon, and the lotus flower, and the tree sprites... nothing. My mind just instantly clears when I see this card.
11- Justice: It has a soft glow, calming colors. Nothing overly powerful, just... natural.
12- The Hanged Man: He seems more like an acrobat, as if hanging by choice rather than forced. The strings that hold him are dangling by his arms, seeming to give him the ability to let himself down when he wants.
13- Death: This reminds me more of a Spirit Healer, coming to revive the fallen rather than to take their spirit away. The guiding light in the dark. Beautiful. Might end up one of my favorites.
14- Temperance: Almost seems like a fun card, like she has no current responsibilities and is playing with power.
15- The Devil: Temptation. I neither like nor dislike this card.
16- The Tower: Ominous... Nature taking back what is rightfully hers, with all her wrath and power.
17- The Star: Beautiful. She seems to be doing the star dance like the Icarii peoples from one of my favorite book series. That's a very powerful meaningful dance.
18- The Moon: She reminds me of a huntress. But a nature-loving huntress, as if she can speak to the animals. She IS the human incarnation of the moon.
19- The Sun: Oh she's a wonderful mother. Everything she touches grows strong and healthy. Powerful, but gentle.
20- Judgment: It's like a soft quiet morning, but with a darkening sky overhead, as if a storm is coming in.
21- The World: Such a beautiful card. I love this card. it's peaceful, harmonious. sparkling... all things coming together for the big picture, and it's such a beautiful picture.
The Unknown Card: An extra card in the deck, one I think I'll keep as part of mine. Makes me think of a gypsy, with her crystal ball, asking if you want your fortune told. I think I like this card, for as dark as the color scheme is, the background and accessories make me think of an older age, one filled with magick and mysterious wisdom.

It's getting late, so I'm going to take a break for the night. I'll go through the Minor Arcana tomorrow. =)

Statement of Purpose / Introduction

I am keeping this journal in the hopes that, through recording my thoughts and observations about my tarot cards and readings, I might find myself closer to my inner Self. I would like to have a more open and receptive mind, be more connected with my spirituality, and feel a deeper closeness to the Inner World.

I have been a proud owner of a Tarot deck since I was around 14 or so, in high school. My mother gave me my starter deck, and I have the Everything Tarot Book to help guide me through meanings and interpretations. Only recently have I decided to reconnect with my cards, and I have also decided to find a deck I can connect with on a more personal level. I searched online through an extensive display of Tarot decks, from classic decks like the Ryder-Waite to more new-age modern decks like The Steampunk Tarot. I came across the Crystal Visions Tarot and something kept bringing me back to it's page. I felt a certain "pull" to this deck, and so my husband ordered it for me. It just arrived today. I have it in the packaging in front of me, still unopened.

I want to do it right with this deck. I also want this deck to be for my own personal use, for spiritual growth as well as personal readings. So far I am the only person who has touched the deck in it's manufactured box since it was packaged to ship to me.

The way I am planning to do this, I won't be doing any readings for a while yet with this deck. For now, if I want to do a reading, I will continue to use my starter deck.

I want to study my cards in turn, one at a time. I will write a short blog post about each card as I go. I will start with the Major Arcana, working my way through the cards in numerical order (0-21), then continuing with the Minor Arcana, through Wands, Pentacles, Swords, then Cups. The Minor Arcana I will do in order of King, Queen, Knight, Page, Ace, then 2-10. I will describe the card in detail, every last detail that caught my eye, and my overall feel for each card, as well as my first impressions and thoughts.

As I do this, I will be using my Everything Tarot book to read standard/basic interpretations, noting any differences my first impressions led me to. By the time I have gone through each card in the deck, getting to know each one intimately, I will be ready to begin practice readings. Hopefully throughout my study I will find the methods of shuffling and cleansing that I am the most comfortable with, and I'd like to start noting my personal routines and habits as well.

Today, I will simply hold each card in turn, sort of in a casual greeting. Tomorrow, I will begin my journey more personally. Wish me luck! =)