Full Moon Scrying, January 2016

Hello there, dearest. Once again, it has been ages since I've posted. I no longer wonder how people can 'study' for years and years. Especially if they get as distracted by life as I apparently do.

I have gotten back into an online pagan school that I was once in, that I'm using in part to fuel my desire to finally study my cards again. I am determined to get through them all eventually.

Although it's not entirely related to Tarot, I'm going to be attempting full moon scryings throughout the year. This one was especially important to me, because it is the first full moon of the new year. Last time I did a full moon scrying, it foretold my pregnancy with my daughter (which happened just a few weeks afterwards). This time, I believe it's talking about my career. It's still very new, and just began at the start of this year.

Usually, I use a black bowl of water. This time, I used my amethyst crystal ball. As I usually do at the start of the year, I ask the goddess what the year has in store for me.

The main point was for me to focus. Whether I was looking up or down, regardless of my bipolar mood. Focus, focus, focus. Even if that  means pulling things together or taking one at a time.

There were definite hints of Light and Shadow, which I'd like to attribute to my novel (which is about halfway through), but there were also hints of solid and ethereal (the solid was on top, but I'm not 100% sure if that makes a difference). I'd like to think this is telling me that the words I write down on the page are more important (and more useful) than the ones in my head; the book will never get finished if I don't write it down.

There were also two snowflakes. The closer I got, the more beautiful and intricate they were. They were usually apart, but sometimes got close together and seemed to dance around each other. When they would collide, it was just this beautiful intense rainbow and positivity.

The snowflakes were very much typical snowflake shapes on the outside, but the designs on them were very detailed on the inside. They were done in a series of tiny dots or pinholes, which let a bright light through. Sometimes the designs appeared to be human shaped (Gemini specifically) but sometimes it seemed like an open book. Always with symmetry.

I'm not entirely positive what the snowflakes were referring to. There were a few different things they could have been: my friend Michelle and I, who are two halves of a whole (literally sometimes I think we're the same person), my book and Michelle's (which are two tandem novels that intertwine), or my home life and my work life. 

All in all, I think as long as I focus on the task at hand as they come to me, and remember that FOCUSING is what I need to work on this year, everything will continue to go absolutely amazingly, as it has been since August. <3

Full Moon Scrying January 15, 2014

The very first thing I see is a heart, followed by a five pointed star. Good beginning.

I see a man and a woman, their faces close together. They are interacting in some way, talking maybe. They are close. Together, they begin to drift farther and farther into the distance. Up close again, I now see a beautiful, fully blossomed tree of life. Then, a large rabbit the size of the tree hops into view.

Now there is a white bird flying (maybe a dove?). It seems to be struggling a lot, something is blasting it with a chaotic force over and over, and the force keeps getting stronger and more frequent.

I see some shapes that resemble children but it is hard to tell. Throughout the jumble of images I am able to pick out a dinosaur and a bat. Then I see a few items, but they do not seem random. They seem to be in a specific order, like they are telling a story. The items are (in order): bells (like wedding bells), shoes, dolls, dancing, sex (between a man and at least one woman, but they were so tangled in each others arms you could not tell).

I see the letter E. Then it progresses into daily life. There is cleaning, and someone serving another. There is fire, emotional I think. Then a random duck appears, briefly.

Someone is wishing for something, I see this via hands rubbing a genie's lamp. There is someone or something all seeing, watching over as a tornado strikes. Now unseen, more cleaning. Always cleaning, always unseen and cleaning.

The white bird returns, struggling against a storm. Then there is another five pointed star, flowers, and the word DARK repeatedly, as if to ensure I saw it. There is a calming peace, a prosperous beehive, and music that brings to mind contentment and ease. However, DARK comes again, this time with fire.


All of this so far, I feel like belongs to someone else. And I have a good idea of who the someones were! This last bit is about me.


There is now a small bird making a very long journey. It seems to be trying to undergo some sort of metamorphosis. It is having a hard time. It is also tethered... to me.

Animals flash through the vision. Dolphin, squid, cat. The walls are closing in on the poor bird, from the south. The moon hangs ever-present and grows stronger. As it does so, the small bird faces less and less struggles. It becomes something bigger and better, and can now fight against the oncoming storm.

Right after expressing my desire to end my scrying, I am shown letters. They spell Brentley, then the word 'Cards'.

Full Moon Scrying, December 17, 2013

I recently joined a group of wonderful people online who share and support each other in Wiccan, witchcraft, and spiritual knowledge and practices. I have already learned a lot with them, and found the inspiration to search and learn even more. Tonight, beneath the full moon, I decided to try my hand...and eyes, and mind... at Moon Scrying.

Moon scrying is (essentially) gaining wisdom and divination from the power and energy of the moon, via reflections of the moon in a dark bowl of water. Letting thoughts and images come to you and recording them. I took to this from a slightly different approach, first conversing with The High Priestess, whose presence I felt strongly in the night around me. I told her how I've been talking to the Empress lately, and how I have been pleading with her for my next child to be a daughter. I asked her to use her infinite wisdom and knowledge to try and influence this in reality. I then charged the water, poured it, and began the scrying by focusing on my question and topic (the possibility of having a child in the near future, and letting that child be a daughter).

The first thing that came together was a spider... a small, black spider weaving her web, quickly but methodically winding back and forth. Then I saw what I can only describe as a single sperm, a seed of life suspended alone in mid-air. Then I write, "No, there are 2 now." I see something inching along slowly. There is a cloudy sky, and the clouds part to reveal a beautiful bright sunrise. There is a bright star. Sleeping. Vertical slashes of light, mostly white but with hints of rainbows at the edges, as if seeing glares of light through a crystal. The slashes of light are coming from the earth and extending upwards to the sky. Then, the number 2 pops into my head.

At this point I realize that I hear an owl hooting in the near distance. I turn to the left to look in its direction, and listen for a moment. I feel a tugging in my mind behind me to the right, and I turn around to look across the pasture and into the wooded area. I feel something is coming. Not rushing, but moving steadily enough that I feel it. I look up at the moon. There is a child sitting there, I feel like I'm looking at her through a window. She is a happy child. She waved to me. Now I hear many owls calling to each other... and something else. I've never heard an owl make that sound, nor any mammal. But I know they are telling me that I've received my answer, and that my night is ending. The last image I am sent in regards to my topic is a lush tree with many hanging branches... and I watch as they bear a single fruit.

Now my focus is released, and I allow my mind to clear and receive anything the Goddess and the High Priestess might have to offer me, any blessings they will grant me. I am shown a few symbols.

These symbols are: A six-spoked wheel. A star. A triple crescent symbol, with three crescents of different size and shape. And the image of a woman, kneeling beneath a tree, which is bending in the wind.

I see the face of...a lemur, perhaps? Then I see a skull. But just for a second. There is a hand, wildly spinning a white chalice. From beneath it, it pours energy into another chalice of gold with 2-3 blue bands. Something is wrapping itself up tight, and safe, then struggles to be free. A flame dances just out of sight, and only the shadows it casts verify its existence. Two flower petals flutter in the wind, then become the wings of butterflies, slowy drawn to each other and coming together as one. The image stirs, and I get a glimpse of a child growing in a womb.

At this point I know I am running low on concentration, and should complete my scrying. As I said I would, I ended the night in a prayer of healing and positive energy, to send forth to my brothers and sisters in my group. Many of them are feeling ill lately, or have close family  in need of healing thoughts. But as I raised the bowl to greet the moon in an offering, she began frantically scribbling letters on the surface of the water. They seem to be a jumble of letters, and a few may be missing, but here is what I recorded:
b r m h r d
bad n
brad a
rancie na (then an up arrow)
I recorded these letters, but I don't think they are for me. Perhaps someone else or someone from the group can gain some meaning from them.

The lettering ended pretty quickly, and the feeling of rushed communication as well. Peaceful once more, I again raised the bowl to the moon, offering her the healing waters and praying that she allow the energy and positivity to flow from me, through her, and down her moonbeams to shine love and light and rejuvenation upon the group, especially those who need her most. The last image she showed me, as I took the bowl back down towards my chest, was a white dove flying from myself into open arms, being embraced, and exploding into a bright light of energy that covered everything.

Now done, I offered the water to the Earth and went back inside to record this here. I haven't  put much thought into what I have recorded tonight, but I think I will do that tomorrow. I hope my brothers and sisters felt the energy I sent to them, and I hope it helps them however they may need it.

Benedetto sia
Blessed be~

Meditation Experiences

Last night, just before going to sleep, I decided I'd meditate. I was actually planning on doing it for a silly reason; I was putting my cards under my pillow and I was going to ask my cards if they had any cool ideas or designs for the purse I'm making. The components of this purse are very symbolic to me, and so I feel my cards may have some symbolic ideas for the design itself. I wanted to meditate to put myself into a dreamlike state, so that my subconscious would be the one asking, and would be more receptive to an answer, even once I let go of the controlled/guided meditation and released my mind to the dream world.

I say "controlled/guided" meditation, because I was doing this entirely on my own, controlling my breathing and my thoughts. I was in control of what those thoughts would be and where I wanted them to go, yet the images and senses I experienced would guide me toward the right direction. Like, my brain is a distant land, and my conscious mind knows it wants to meet my subconscious, it just needs to be guided on the right path to get there. I'm not sure if there is a better term for that, I haven't looked it up so I guess I'll have to do that sometime.

I began by closing my eyes, clearing my mind of everything, and only picturing my breathing. At first I was literally watching my chest rise and fall (in my mind) then the view changed to an overhead view of myself, but I was entirely shadow except for my chest, which was the only part of me I could physically see. I listened for the rhythmic in and out of my breathing, and although I wasn't sure what color I should be associating this with, suddenly, just with the thought of color, I began seeing yellow and a pinkish red; one for inhaling and one for exhaling, though I can't remember which was which. Slowly I brought to consciousness the rest of my body, starting with my feet and feeling each part of them, then moving up my legs, etc, till I was whole again. My feet were the only part of me I had to forcibly think about, the rest of myself followed naturally. I could see my entire self coming into view both as if I was tilting my head down and watching myself, and also as if from an overhead view.

Once I was whole again, within minutes of beginning this meditation, I felt a heaviness settle over me, as if someone had lain a large thick comforter over top me, but evenly across my entire body at once. This comforter not only laid on top of me but settled INTO me, becoming part of me, and then my body itself was heavy. There was a slight tingling sensation, as if a part of me had gone to sleep, but across my entire body, as if it was a part of that heaviness (that tingling you get when a body part goes to sleep, except 50% less "tingling" and 50% more "heavy"). Once again I'm not sure if there is a better term for that, I haven't looked that up either. I feel as if doing this on my own first, without really reading up on anything about it, I have a better chance of experiencing things more because I truly am experiencing them, and less because I read somewhere "that's what's supposed to happen."

I was shocked to see it hit me so quickly, I expected it to take longer and be harder to connect to, but there I was, just sort of drifting, my body heavy and although if I concentrated on a part of me I could feel it, I was... one. I was whole, though I don't think it was my body itself I was feeling this from. I decided that if I was going to ask my cards anything, I'd like to be in a comfortable place. Somewhere one friend could talk to another and be able to laugh and share things at ease. I felt a bit odd just floating in darkness--though it wasn't really "dark"... it wasn't really "light" either. It just.... was. It just was. So, I began to focus once more on my breathing, and see where it took me. I was brought to a beach. It was a bit chilly out, but the deep emerald of the ocean, the sea-foam green of the waves crashing against the light off-white eggshell of the sand... the sky was a light blue with streaks of grey and large puffy Cumulus clouds reaching ever upward. I could feel the sunlight at my back, and despite the chill in the air, the sand was nice and warm. I could literally feel the warmth radiating from the soles of my feet, begin to feel the sand itself between my toes; I could ACTUALLY smell the salt in the air, and hear the waves as they made their retreat back to the ocean, then rushed forward--gently--to wash up on the shore. If there was ever a beach I wanted to incorporate into my book, this world I was on was it. Though that thought didn't cross my mind until just now. =)

Anyways, so there I was on the beach. When suddenly, out of nowhere, someone steps in front of my view, and I was pulled back from this paradise into that "darness that wasn't dark" again. Everything seemed a smoky grey, not dark but not light. Light than dark, but not dark. I'm sorry, I really don't think I could explain it any better than that...

This person was a woman. She didn't seem to be wholly visible, though not transparent either. It was as if she was a sketch drawn on light smoky paper, outlined thinly in charcoal, but moving and in 3D. Okay actually the way she was in front of me and the way she moved don't seem to be possible at all, in any way I could describe it, so you'll just have to be satisfied with that description.

She had long hair that went down to the center of her back, yet it was disheveled. She seemed to be in her 40s, her face showed definite signs of the years. She had a crazed look on her face, and she was talking to me in a voice that I can only describe as annoying. She seemed somewhat rude and pushy, and she was apparently trying to get me to follow her, and although I took a few steps I did not initially like her. She really did seem somewhat crazy, and between her facial expressions that bunched her face up in unattractive positions and her bouncing around back and forth trying to get me to follow her, on top of her annoying and disrespectful tone of voice... I did not want to go anywhere with her.

I stood my ground and firmly told her no. I said that she had too much negativity surrounding her, and I would not allow myself contact or connection to one such as herself. I wanted positive influences and energy around me, I would ALWAYS surround myself with positivity, and I would not give in to negativity of any sort. I felt myself throwing positive energy at her, though I'm not sure if I was trying to push her away with it or surround her with it. She let out an exasperated sigh ("UGH!") And turned away from me stomping her foot, saying, "Fine! I'll stop! Geez." But then after she took a few steps away from me... she did stop. She just sort of... changed. Her hair was straight and healthy, her face had smoothed out and dropped nearly 20 years it seemed. She was smiling, and she was calm. She stepped back towards me till she was standing in front of me, and she seemed to be around my age now, asking me in a very pleasant voice if I would please follow her. It didn't seem like a trick of any sort, she did seem to be this nicer person, and so I began to follow her off in the distance, but we didn't get anywhere... after a few steps I found myself back on my beach, alone.

I glanced around and saw no sign of this mystery woman. I don't know if she was merely pretending to have been nice, or if my positive energy had transformed her that way, though after the thoughts I sent toward her, she did seem grateful. Once she was gone, I sort of "woke up" from my meditation, all thoughts of my purse-making gone at the time. Before I moved or sat up though, I concentrated on how I felt. I put my hand on top of my head to feel if it was warm, like it was the night I woke up at 2:00am and wrote myself that note; but it wasn't warm. I felt something was off though, and so I just ran my hands over various key points of my body and didn't have to search long. I felt that same warmth that I had felt before, this time directly in the center of my chest. It was located near my heart, but not off to the side as your heart is. Directly in the center. Does this have to do with the concentration I had on my breathing? Or the beach? Or this woman?

I don't know the answers to all of my questions; but what I do know is that I have a feeling I will be doing research on chakras this week. This is the second time a major part of my body, right down the center, has had this warmth, and I would like to know where all the chakras are located to see if they match up with the locations of the warming sensations.

I think I'll try meditating again tonight, and going back to my beach. Let's see if she comes back.