Full Moon Scrying, December 17, 2013

I recently joined a group of wonderful people online who share and support each other in Wiccan, witchcraft, and spiritual knowledge and practices. I have already learned a lot with them, and found the inspiration to search and learn even more. Tonight, beneath the full moon, I decided to try my hand...and eyes, and mind... at Moon Scrying.

Moon scrying is (essentially) gaining wisdom and divination from the power and energy of the moon, via reflections of the moon in a dark bowl of water. Letting thoughts and images come to you and recording them. I took to this from a slightly different approach, first conversing with The High Priestess, whose presence I felt strongly in the night around me. I told her how I've been talking to the Empress lately, and how I have been pleading with her for my next child to be a daughter. I asked her to use her infinite wisdom and knowledge to try and influence this in reality. I then charged the water, poured it, and began the scrying by focusing on my question and topic (the possibility of having a child in the near future, and letting that child be a daughter).

The first thing that came together was a spider... a small, black spider weaving her web, quickly but methodically winding back and forth. Then I saw what I can only describe as a single sperm, a seed of life suspended alone in mid-air. Then I write, "No, there are 2 now." I see something inching along slowly. There is a cloudy sky, and the clouds part to reveal a beautiful bright sunrise. There is a bright star. Sleeping. Vertical slashes of light, mostly white but with hints of rainbows at the edges, as if seeing glares of light through a crystal. The slashes of light are coming from the earth and extending upwards to the sky. Then, the number 2 pops into my head.

At this point I realize that I hear an owl hooting in the near distance. I turn to the left to look in its direction, and listen for a moment. I feel a tugging in my mind behind me to the right, and I turn around to look across the pasture and into the wooded area. I feel something is coming. Not rushing, but moving steadily enough that I feel it. I look up at the moon. There is a child sitting there, I feel like I'm looking at her through a window. She is a happy child. She waved to me. Now I hear many owls calling to each other... and something else. I've never heard an owl make that sound, nor any mammal. But I know they are telling me that I've received my answer, and that my night is ending. The last image I am sent in regards to my topic is a lush tree with many hanging branches... and I watch as they bear a single fruit.

Now my focus is released, and I allow my mind to clear and receive anything the Goddess and the High Priestess might have to offer me, any blessings they will grant me. I am shown a few symbols.

These symbols are: A six-spoked wheel. A star. A triple crescent symbol, with three crescents of different size and shape. And the image of a woman, kneeling beneath a tree, which is bending in the wind.

I see the face of...a lemur, perhaps? Then I see a skull. But just for a second. There is a hand, wildly spinning a white chalice. From beneath it, it pours energy into another chalice of gold with 2-3 blue bands. Something is wrapping itself up tight, and safe, then struggles to be free. A flame dances just out of sight, and only the shadows it casts verify its existence. Two flower petals flutter in the wind, then become the wings of butterflies, slowy drawn to each other and coming together as one. The image stirs, and I get a glimpse of a child growing in a womb.

At this point I know I am running low on concentration, and should complete my scrying. As I said I would, I ended the night in a prayer of healing and positive energy, to send forth to my brothers and sisters in my group. Many of them are feeling ill lately, or have close family  in need of healing thoughts. But as I raised the bowl to greet the moon in an offering, she began frantically scribbling letters on the surface of the water. They seem to be a jumble of letters, and a few may be missing, but here is what I recorded:
b r m h r d
bad n
brad a
rancie na (then an up arrow)
I recorded these letters, but I don't think they are for me. Perhaps someone else or someone from the group can gain some meaning from them.

The lettering ended pretty quickly, and the feeling of rushed communication as well. Peaceful once more, I again raised the bowl to the moon, offering her the healing waters and praying that she allow the energy and positivity to flow from me, through her, and down her moonbeams to shine love and light and rejuvenation upon the group, especially those who need her most. The last image she showed me, as I took the bowl back down towards my chest, was a white dove flying from myself into open arms, being embraced, and exploding into a bright light of energy that covered everything.

Now done, I offered the water to the Earth and went back inside to record this here. I haven't  put much thought into what I have recorded tonight, but I think I will do that tomorrow. I hope my brothers and sisters felt the energy I sent to them, and I hope it helps them however they may need it.

Benedetto sia
Blessed be~

One Year Later...

It has been a year since I wrote in this blog. It has not been a year since I used my cards, though. I have taken them out a few times and reviewed the ones I have already studied, but sadly I have not had the time or emotonal motivation to study further. It has been a rough year, one that has led me over a crumbling bridge from a rocky friendship, crossing through rough waters of depression, and suffering at the hands of fate who have taken a dear friend too soon for my liking.

Through this all, it would be a lie if I said I haven't had a chance to study my cards--I've had many chances. But it wasn't until two days ago that I decided I needed my cards, and to continue along the spiritual journey down which they were leading me.

So, the other night I put my cards under my pillow, to reaquaint my mind with them. And I had a dream that I have not been able to get out of my head. A few of the details are unclear, but the parts that mattered are what I remember.

In this dream, I was with my old friend Megan and her boyfriend Chris. We had gone out somewhere, and they were taking me back home. She was driving, he was in the passenger seat, and I was sitting in back. The "home" they took me to was the house I used to live in back in South Carolina, one of my favorites of the houses I've lived in. My hubby was waiting for me in the kitchen. As I was getting out of the car, via the passenger side, Megan turns to me. We began saying our good byes, but she slowed down for a moment, and asked me... "Why?" I know there was more to the question,  and I think there were even a few other questions as well. But it was the word 'why' that stuck with me.

The past few days I have asked myself the same question. Why? ...why what? Why now? I believe part of me is ready to talk to them again. To slowly rebuild the bridge between us and rekindle the friendship. I've continued to ask myself why as I considered this. Is it because the loss of my best friend has reminded me that life is too short to fight and hold grudges? Is it because I miss having someone to talk to that understands me and has many of the same unique interests as I do? The biggest things to me seem to be the house we lived in, in the dream, and the fact that Megan was driving the car. Those are the factors I believe to be most important in my contemplations.

First of all, the house. It was--and will always be--my dream home. Aside from sharing the house with Navy shipmates and the fact that it's located in South Carolina, that house was sheer perfection. Living there in a dream indicates that I firmly believe I will be living in a house I like one day in the future, that I will be happy with my home. It's no secret that I can't stand our current living situation, but this year I was given the hope that one day in the future, we will move out of this house and into a house that fits our wants/needs.

Second of all, Megan driving. When we went to Florida to pick her up, a huge part of that was knowing that we were doing it not only so we'd both have each other closer, but also so she could have a chance at a better life. We were going to help her get on her feet, help her get a driver's license, a car, a job, and possibly even back into school for a better education. We wanted to help her form a stronger sense of self reliance, and be able to support herself and her kids as a strong willed single mother should. What had hit me so hard was that she went from one relatonship where she was being supported directly into another, and I was upset that she hadn't even attempted to rely on herself first. I was afraid that we had put so much stock into helping her, only to have her use it as a means to reach her new boyfriend. Don't get me wrong, I was happy they clicked and that they were in love, but I thought they both needed to find themselves before they could really make such a radical life change. It has been nearly a year since we last saw each other, and it's not the fact that they are still together that makes me reconsider... neither is it the idea that I have no other choice--we've become friends with one of hubby's co-workers, and I get along wonderfully with his wife--no, what grts me thinking is that Megan has a job. She has taken a step for the better, a step that I have been waiting for. The thousand dollars we spent to drive to get her is not for a lost cause, because she IS, in fact, making positive changes! In the dream of course it was portrayed via her driving, but the idea is the same.

So now, here I am. Two friends down, depression playing games, and a long cold winter ahead. I cant help but wonder how the year will end. But I can make good use of it, and I know it is time to pull my cards back out. I could use a bit of spiritual guidance, friendship, and hope... and the idea that my friend may now be there to help aid in the guiding process... it's just one more reason I am motivated.

Tonight I held my cards, and went through the Major Arcana, comparing my initial thoughts of a year ago to my thoughts today. Tomorrow, I will review the ones I have previously studied. Hopefully I get much farther in 2014 than I did in 2013. May next year be ever better than this one.

Arcanum Journey: Six through Eight

I have studied the next three cards in the Major Arcana:
Six--The Lovers
Seven--The Chariot
Eight--Strength
I have found a connection between these three cards, and although they do follow the first six cards, they seem connected to each other more.

After having opened yourself to the Universe, been given the tools and access to the knowledge you seek, and being introduced to the four aspects of your inner Self, you are ready to move on and conquer the obstacles and inner conflicts that trouble you.

The Lovers is all about union. It's about looking inside yourself and coming to terms with the opposites and inner conflicts; it's about admitting and accepting your opposites and joining them together to become a unified duality. For instance, realizing that you can be muscular and still gentle, or beautiful and still smart. It's more than that though, it's understanding that your physical and spiritual selves work together in harmony. This card is also about romantic love and the joining of two people, although in a spiritual sense it's all about your own inner needs and self-love. This card also poses a choice, having to be discriminatory at times in order to move on and master the opposing forces within. Whatever choice you make, however, will be the right one, because it will make you whole.
The Chariot is the process of overcoming these forces and mastering them. The beasts that pull the chariot are the conflicting forces, and they are being mastered and controlled to work together in harmony and unison and guide the charioteer. This card is learning to use the opposites to your benefit, and move yourself in a forward direction toward something better.
Strength is the clarity and power you have after you have mastered your conflicts. Once you are in charge and in touch with yourself, Strength is the perfect combination of intuition and animalistic instinct that guides you and proves your strength, confidence, and worldly power. You use these traits spiritually, rather than overtaking everything physically. It shows your own "inner strength" and the willpower to overcome anything with your mind rather than just your body. This card says to me, "you have the clarity of mind now to go where you want to go, and to trust in that little voice in your head." This card boasts of victory, because you have officially overcome the obstacles you faced from the Lovers, and you have mastered the beasts of the Chariot.

I know in my heart that I still have obstacles and choices I must make and reconcile with. I believe this to be the area of my spiritual journey that I myself am on. I am curious as to what the next cards in the Major Arcana will reveal, since I think they will be what I have to look forward to in the upcoming stages of my life.

Studying the Cards: Eight-- Strength

Interpretation given by my Everything Tarot book states:
When Strength appears in a reading, you are exhibiting moral courage and fortitude. You  have learned to work in harmony with your own instinctive nature, to listen to it and hear its whisperings. As in tales of the hero's journey, the seeker often meets with animals, representative of the instinctive realm, who guide and help him on his way. Strength indicates that you have come through difficulties and learned to rely on inner strength to solve your problems.
This is a time when faith in yourself will pay off, when your position is strong because you have made yourself strong through suffering trials and tribulations without being defeated by them. It is a time to let people around you know who you are--especially anyone who has been dominating you.
The indication is that it is the feminine principle that does the work of reconciling the mental-rational facility with that of the intuitive-instinctive nature. The feminine is always in closer touch with nature than the masculine. Whether the reading is for a man or a woman, the same principle applies. The lesson is that we do not conquer our animal natures by brute force (which is the typical masculine mode of approach to obstacles) but by gentleness and feeling our way into rapport with the instinctive side of our nature.
Depending on the placement of the card in the spread and the question that is being asked, Strength is an indication that what is required in the situation is for spiritual strength to replace or overcome physical strength.

In a reading:
You have come through severe trials and triumphed. You have found your deep inner strength, and it will from now on see you through whatever comes your way. You are firmly connected to the instinctual world (represented by the lion) and you are able to make friends with it and control it for your own benefit and that of others. Emotionally, at a gut-level, you are connected positively to your animal self, and this will protect and care for you. Your inner drives are in harmony with your outer needs and your instinctive nature is supporting all that you do or hope to do. At this time, your logical mind--if it is in conflict with your intuitive knowingness--is not as important in making decisions as is what you feel to be right for you. Whatever decisions you make, or actions you take, will be successful.

Description:
My books states that Strength is depicted with a woman and a lion. There does not appear to be a struggle between them, and the woman seems to be in complete control and is even being gentle and loving. A few decks show it being a young man wrestling with the lion, but more often than not it is a woman. In my deck, it is a young woman kneeling behind a lion. In the Waite deck, the woman is bent over the lion and has her hands on his jaws, gently closing them. She does not expect him to fight back or give resistance at all. She is being very affectionate and caring with him. On my card she is kneeling behind the lion, with one hand reaching down and resting on his jaw, as if softly holding it shut. In the Waite deck she has a flowing garment and a ring of flowers in her hair; in my deck she is wearing a more physically-allowing outfit, with knee-high boots and a staff. She does not have flowers in her hair, but the card does show sunflowers surrounding the cliff that her and the lion are resting on. Many times she has the symbol for infinity above her head, though in my card that symbol is atop the staff she carries, as well as a clear crystal ball.
My books says that many people interpret this card to mean a struggle with one's animalistic nature, though he sees it as a symbol of self-confidence, inner strength, and being in harmony with instinctive nature. He sees the woman as taming or befriending the lion, with the lion representing animal nature and instinct in humans. My books says, "Though the lion is clearly the more physically powerful of the two, the woman represents human courage and will power that masters the instinctive realm not by force but by cooperation."

Details I've noticed:
On my card, Strength is represented by a woman, clad in powerful red, kneeling behind a lion. She has one arm over his shoulder, her hand gently holding his jaw closed. The lion is laying down, resting in the position that most cats lay in when relaxed and at ease. The woman is looking over the lion into the distance, in much the same direction that the lion is facing. I believe this stands for a continuation of the Lovers and the Chariot cards: after having realized your opposites and inner conflicts, and after having brought them together in reconciliation and mastering their respective power, you now are at peace with your inner strength and can control it with ease and care. No longer struggling with your conflicts, you have overcome obstacles and are now in command. You are confident and self-assured, and you have come to trust your intuition and animal instinct, allowing it to guide you. The eagles from overhead in the Chariot are present here in Strength, representing (as the card represents itself) strength, confidence, and protection. The lion IS stronger than the woman, and so not only does the lion represent that she is in control of her intuitive-instinctual side, but that it also guides her and protects her. There are sunflowers surrounding the cliff they are on, representing (to me) more confidence and surety.
I find it interesting that the woman holds a staff with the infinity loop and a clear crystal ball. She has a firm grasp on it, showing that she is in control. The crystal ball is completely clear, and you can see straight through it. I see this to mean that since she has the confidence and the power and is working together with her intuition and animal instinct, things look clear and it is easy to see both the current situations and the future ones. Intuition guides her, telling her what she needs to know without having to search for it. The infinity loop represents that her intuition will continue to guide her through all times and for as long as she continues to have a firm grasp over her "lion."
Strength is represented by the number eight. Eight represents "material prosperity, worldly power or influence." It stands for leadership and authority, a strong trait in the Strength card. The eight is the infinity symbol turned on its side, representing "cosmic consciousness" and the idea of spirituality and all ends meeting together in the cycle of life. Eight talks about skills of organization and management, which you must have to master the instinctual lion within yourself.

Update:
Today is February 9th, 2014 and I am reviewing the cards that I have already studied. The Strength card still has a lot of similar meanings to me that it did before, although now I can see that it is not just a card of strength and instinctive intuition, but as the number 8 and representing infinity it is also a card of abundance. I see the sunflowers now as being a symbol of this abundance. This card mostly represents being at one with your instinct and intuition; a continuation from the Chariot card. You have learned to master your conflicts, and are now confident and assured in your endeavors with your new strength. Using our instinctive animal intuition, we are able to feel what we must do with our hearts, rather than our logic.

Studying the Cards: Seven-- The Chariot

Interpretation given by my Everything Tarot book states:
When the Chariot appears, there is a need to be in control of competing forces, whether these are inner conflicts or whether they represent people or a situation in your life that requires you to take command in order to reach your goals. Like the celebrated but seldom achieved "bipartisanship" of government, the solution to the problem at hand is to take the middle road between the conflicting elements.
You may feel unequal to the challenge of controlling the multiple factors of a given situation, but if you choose to just "go with the flow" and make the best of where it takes you, you will succeed. Once you have resolved within your own mind the conflict, even if that requires considerable struggle, you will be in a position to stay on course. To do this, you need firm resolve--self-mastery. With a strategy determined by clear-thinking and a sense of purpose, you will overcome all obstacles.
Receiving the Chariot in a reading, depending on its position in the spread, is generally favorable. It indicates you have the means to triumph over all obstacles and stay the course you have set for yourself. It can also mean that assistance is on the way as a result of your own strength and determination. It can also suggest you are in the process of transforming yourself and your ways of thinking and doing in order to create a firm foundation from which to go forward and achieve your desires. You are at this time keenly aware of how to use your past experiences to reach a major goal and you are in touch with deep inner resources.
At a literal level, it relates to travel and transportation and could mean changing your mode of transport, such as buying a new car, or traveling by rail or some other form of wheeled vehicle.

In a reading:
Victory is assured! Things are moving fast, and transition is occurring rapidly. You are holding things together successfully, uniting opposite energies to stay on track. This is a situation where you are completely, totally involved, and happily so. You are feeling together with yourself and whatever task is at hand to be accomplished. Though the pace is faster than usual, you are attuned to the rhythm of it and keeping up with the changes that are happening--at your job, in your relationship, with your career, or in some community or worldly involvement. You are sensitive to the minor adjustments you must constantly make to keep things going right.

Description:
My book describes the Chariot as being a strong male, fully armored and carrying a scepter. He is in a chariot, at the reins of two beasts, one black and one white. My Chariot is a strong female, with some leather armor but not a lot, and she has one hand on the rail of the chariot and one hand holding the reins of two horses, one black and one white. The harnesses on the horses are opposite colors as well; the black horse has a white harness and the white horse has a black harness. The wheels on the chariot are said to represent the ever-changing life cycles--the Wheel of Time. On some cards, the animals are pulling in opposite directions and the charioteer must hold "the reins taut to keep them in tandem, another symbolic statement of the need to master and reconcile conflicting needs, both inner and outer." My horses seem to be going in the same direction, though the white one seems to veer more to its left and the black one looking more to its right. My books says that the beasts represent the opposing forces that were reconciled at the stage of the Lovers. This also represents the person's mastery of these opposing forces and control over inner conflict. The books also says that this card tells us that before we can take on outer forces or enemies we must first be in charge of our inner opposites so they can function in harmony.
The Chariot is a symbol for Self and its direction, just like any vehicle appearing in a dream.

Details I've noticed:
On my card, the Chariot is steered by a strong-willed woman, dressed for action but not battle. She is controlling something and taking charge, but she is not fighting it. She is in a simple chariot with wings behind it and golden wheels. The chariot she is in represents her sense of self direction, the wheels representing the cycles of life, the Wheel of Time. In her right hand she holds the reins of two horses, one white and one black. The horses represent opposing forces, different actions or emotions or traits, that have come together to work in unison. Each of the horses are harnessed in their opposing colors; the black horse has a white harness and the white horse has a black harness. Once again, the cooperation of opposing forces. The horses are going the same direction, though they are each looking off to their respective sides as if they would rather go different ways. The woman has the reins held evenly though, mastering and controlling the beasts equally. She is ensuring that they go the same way, together, though she has her other hand resting on the rail of the chariot, as if she is allowing them to guide her. I think this means that after you have acknowledged and unified your opposites and resolved the conflicts within yourself, you must master them and use them together. Make them work for the same cause. However, just because you are mastering them does not mean you should force them in any particular direction; choose where you want to go, but let them lead you there.
The woman's hair is flying behind her, showing that the Chariot is moving at a fast pace. There are eagles flying in the sky, showing how regal and imperial she is, and she truly is important in the reign of one's Self. Farther in the background, the clouds seem to form uneven peaks and ridges, which represents to me that she is leaving conflict behind. What I found interesting is that this card is number seven; my book says that number seven is all about soul-searching and solitude. It's about "inner life," and seven is a very mystical number symbolizing wisdom. A time to search on a spiritual level, exploring yourself and your individuality. This is not a time to do anything material or physical related or start anything new physically; this is a spiritual number and your energy should be focused thus. Analyze your past experiences and examine your current ones. Just find your own path in life. This is a great number for the Chariot, since this card is all about self discovery, self mastery, and spiritual control and direction.

Update:
Today is February 8th, 2014 and I am reviewing the cards that I have already studied. The Chariot still holds the same meanings to me; it is about taking the conflicts and the two sides of the Lovers card and steering them in the direction you desire. In a reading this card means that you might be moving forward very quickly, that something might be escalating fast and you might feel like it's out of your control, but you DO have control over it, and at this time you have the ability to make the subtle changes required to keep moving the right direction. This card in the journey represents leaving behind the conflicts and the choice of the Lovers card, taking both sides together and using them to work toward the common goal and direction.

Studying the Cards: Six-- The Lovers

Interpretation given by my Everything Tarot book states:
Although many readers interpret this card as basically about romantic love, it is allegorically a statement about union--of opposites, whether people, such as a man and a woman, or inner conflict. The Lovers refers to discrimination in the making of choices, and the male and female figures are symbols not only of human love and marriage but also of the dual nature of ourselves. We all have opposite traits within ourselves that need to be reconciled and lived with, just as well as married couples, or any other sort of partners, experience conflict that requires making choices, sometimes tough ones, and effecting reconciliation.
When the Lovers appears, it is pointing to this need to heal an inner rift. Although it can herald a romantic involvement, it most often turns up when a critical life decision must be made, sometimes in connection with a love relationship. There are obstacles to be overcome, both within and without.
This card suggests that you are at a crossroads--you have to consider all of the ramifications of the situation and carefully make discriminating choices in order to further your own development and to accommodate the needs of others in the situation. There may be much activity in the form of short trips (one person may live in another place, for example), or you may be commuting to contact business partners.

In a reading:
This is a card of cooperation, of working together in coalition with others to accomplish joint purposes. It stands for attraction of any kind, not only of the romantic variety, and for any venture requiring harmony, union, and cooperation. There can be an indication of a choice being required between two factors of equal worth--but the choice you make will be the right one. Or, two or more forces or people may have come together in your life in pursuit of a common goal. This may be a temporary conjoinment for some specific purpose.

Description:
My books says that there are two basic images for the Lovers. The first basic image is a pair of young lovers, though how they are placed and clothed depends on the deck. Some are naked, though mine are clothed. Some are standing apart, some are touching; my deck shows the male holding the female with her head resting against his chest. On many decks, there is an angel overhead blessing the union. In my deck, there is a pair of white doves, each holding the end of a pink ribbon that wraps around the couple. In many decks, the imagery suggests that there is a choice and that there may be a union. The second basic image depicts three people, suggesting that the third party was an influence on the relationship of the other two. In decks that have three people, there is often "cupid" pointing his arrow at one of the women, implying that the man had to make a choice between them.

Details I've noticed:
On my card, there is a man and a woman embracing. They both look peaceful and content, with their arms around each other and her head resting against his chest. There are ribbons wrapped around the two, and above them are two white doves with their wings spread out, each holding an end of the ribbon. To me, this symbolizes love and a union of sorts. Not just a union though, but a blessed union, one that is surrounded by happiness. I do not believe that love is restricted to a man and a woman, so I believe the reason they are depicted as a man and a woman is to resemble opposites. The yin and yang qualities. That means that it can also represent a union or coming together of a single person; acceptance of who they are, a union of all of their qualities. It can mean agreeably joining ones physical world with their spiritual realm; this is the meaning I like the most from this card and the one I think resonates strongest to me. At the front of the card, across the bottom and trailing up the sides, are rose vines. The vines have both the roses and the thorns, with the dark green leaves setting off the bright pinks of the roses. The woman is also holding a rose. I'm not sure exactly how to translate that, but I know it has something to do with making a choice. As if the vines represent there being two options, the flower or the thorn. Obviously no one is going to choose the thorn, which means that since she picked the rose, she made the right choice. That tells me that if this card represents a choice to be made, the one you choose will be right for you. There is also a single pink butterfly in the center of the rose vines. The beginning of something new, the rebirth of a person, having made a decision to transform, starting fresh with all their new self-discoveries. The sky overhead appears to be at sunrise, with the clouds parting to shine a white light onto the Lovers.
The Lovers is also represented in the number six. Six is all about social responsibility, about caring, compassion, and a time to be simple and calm and resolve any issues that the storm that was number five has caused or left behind. Six is about harmony with yourself and your surroundings. It's a time to relax and enjoy the rewards from the planning and action you took. With the six, "you are comfortable with both yourself and your circumstances."
What I gather from all this is that the Lovers represents a few different things. It can sometimes represent an actual union between lovers, between two people who have chosen to share a romantic relationship. It can sometimes stand for a choice to be made, though your decision will always be the right one. Often times it not only means a decision, but that there is some sort of inner conflict between two parts of someone, and a choice has to be made to make peace between the two. It is about joining ones physical world with their spiritual world, and accepting the different parts of oneself and becoming "whole" with the different aspects of the person joined together amicably. Sometimes this is only a temporary joining; butterflies do not live forever. This card is enhanced with the Six. Being comfortable and happy with what you have, accepting and enjoying yourself and your surroundings. It's about harmony, and solving problems (making choices) to better yourself.

Update:
Today is February 8th, 2014. I am going back over the cards I have already studied to see if I notice anything new. The Lovers card doesn't seem to have anything new that I haven't already taken note of. It is about a union, sometimes between two people and often between different parts of ourselves. We must accept all of ourselves, both the good and the bad, to form the union. Six is about harmony and reconciliation after the chaos of Five. This card can also represent a choice to be made, but have faith that you will make the right choice.

Arcanum Journey: Zero through Five

Many times I have been told, and I have read, that the Major Arcana tells a story. A story of a spiritual journey through life. I have had interest in Tarot for years and have worked with my starter deck for a long time now, and not once have I ever actually seen any sign that the cards really tell a story.

Then again, not once have I ever actually studied the cards and paid close enough attention to what they were trying to tell me. I have never opened myself up to the true power of the cards, I have never allowed them to speak through me rather than just to me. Now that I've begun studying my personal deck and really getting to know it, I'm beginning to see the bigger picture. I had gotten through the first three cards in October without really understanding the connection, but yesterday I picked them up again--finally having the time to study another card--and found myself having one of those 'A-ha!' moments. The cards just seemed to fall into place, and I was seeing connections to them left and right. I don't know if perhaps I had to get through more cards in order to see it, or maybe I just needed to stand back and see it all, like a map, rather than up close. Either way, I feel like I've formed the first TRUE bond with my cards, and I'm excited to study more.

But first, I'd like to write out this revelation of mine, so I can look back on it later and see how the next cards fit into the story. I feel like I've actually stepped forward on the path of my own personal spiritual journey.

So far, I have studied the first six cards in the Major Arcana.
0--The Fool
1--The Magician
2--The High Priestess
3--The Empress
4--The Emperor
5--The Hierophant
These first cards are what seems to be the beginning and the foundation of the journey.

The Fool is the first step; he is letting go of your fears and your insecurities and your philosophical doubts and taking the proverbial "leap of faith", saying that you are ready for a spiritual path to open up before you. You want it, and you are willing to trust the Universe and go where it leads; not necessarily blindly following, but hopefully trusting. You are clearing your mind, emptying your cup... You are at the start, though you have not yet started. It's like, getting into a vehicle which is about to take you on a long road trip. You haven't pulled out of the driveway yet, but you're in the car. It is the start of a new beginning, the welcoming of a new life.

The Magician is the Universe responding to you. He tells you that now, since you have opened yourself up to the spiritual world and are ready for it, he will begin to reveal answers to the mysteries of your inner Self. The first of these answers is the fact that you hold within yourself all the tools and knowledge and power to change the worlds around you, both your spiritual world and your physical. You can use these tools and knowledge, but only for positive ends. He is the true beginning of the journey, where you have everything you could ever need laid out before you, and you have only to imagine what you truly want or need, and you can make it so. He tells you that your physical world and your spiritual world are one and the same; your reality can be mere illusion, and illusion can solidify into reality.

Now that you have faith in the Universe and are willing to follow where it leads, and now that you know you have the power and tools to change your own life and outlook, you are introduced to the four people who will help guide you and teach you, who make it all possible.

The High Priestess and the Hierophant go together, as opposites working together to create balance and unity. In the same way, the Empress and the Emperor go together as well. The High Priestess and the Hierophant represent the two forms of the spiritual world and their connection to the physical world; the Empress and the Emperor represent the two forms of the physical world and their connection to the spirit realm.
The High Priestess talks about raw intuition. Getting in touch with your most inner Self, letting go of the physical world if need be and focusing on your truth, intuition, understanding, and subconscious. Literally being in the dream world. She states that there is a lot in this dream world, the Otherworld, that you don't understand or that has yet to be revealed to you, and that with meditation and divination and self exploration you can discover the answers you seek. You must want to see the answers though, you must actually seek them out. Once you know and are confident in your spiritual and intuitive beliefs and philosophies, you can begin to alter the physical world around you.
The Hierophant, although being of the spiritual world, is the physical representation of it. He stands for the established order, the named religious group or community in the physical world. He is the bridge between the two worlds, the speaker of the Universe. However he does not have to represent an actual religion; he can just be the philosophy or set of beliefs that you hold close. Either way, he is where you turn to in the real world when you need physical confirmation or support for your spiritual thoughts. A word of warning, however: power is corrupting, especially when one has such a position to be translating the "word of God", where they are in charge of someone elses spirituality. In such an instance, he represents a choice. Do you follow blindly, or do you go off on your own and make your own decision on what to believe? The Hierophant means that once you know and are confident in your belief system that you hold true to in the physical world, including morals, ethics, traditions, and duties, you can begin to alter the spiritual world around you.
The Empress goes back to the High Priestess in her high position and reverence. She is the ultimate mother--Mother Earth, the Virgin Mary, the fertility Goddess. She represents the female aspect of the physical realm, with all her spiritual strength. She is procreation, healing, nurturing, guiding, and life. She has the ability and the want to help and nurture others, and she has the physical strength so as not to deplete herself while doing so. She is the culmination of the Three, in whatever way resonates strongest with you personally. Whether as the mother, father, and child; as the Creator, the Sustainer, and the Destroyer; or as the spiritual world, the physical world, and the Otherworld (the dream world). She also represents the mother in a traditional family as well, as the housewife with her values and her place in the home.
The Emperor goes back to the Hierophant in his position as ruler. He is the authoritative father, literally representing authority, leadership, and strength. He is a passive ruler, guiding the physical world of the here-and-now with a watchful eye and a firm hand. He never goes looking for a fight, but he will not hesitate to defend or protect his morals or those things he feels responsible for. He is straightforward and confident in his traditions and values. He states that there is no rationalizing immoral behavior or saying that the end justifies the means; you do what you know to be right and good, and do not compromise your morals. He is the foundation, the rock to lean on and the mountain to look up to, and he is also the foundation of the traditional family as well. He takes the place of the father (naturally) and the family follows his example and values. He strives to have his physical accomplishments stand through time as a legacy to leave behind. His physical strength is drawn from his spiritual solidarity.

Now that I've gotten through the first few cards and really made the connections between them, I feel confident in my ability to continue on and understand and connect the rest of the Major Arcana as well. This has been an amazing journey already, and even just with these few cards I can almost feel myself opening up to a whole new spiritual world within. I don't know how I've made it this far in life without having this basic understanding, without knowing just how willing the Universe is to teach me. I suppose this is the feeling people get when they truly find God. It's amazing what you see when your eyes are opened.