Full Moon Scrying, January 2016

Hello there, dearest. Once again, it has been ages since I've posted. I no longer wonder how people can 'study' for years and years. Especially if they get as distracted by life as I apparently do.

I have gotten back into an online pagan school that I was once in, that I'm using in part to fuel my desire to finally study my cards again. I am determined to get through them all eventually.

Although it's not entirely related to Tarot, I'm going to be attempting full moon scryings throughout the year. This one was especially important to me, because it is the first full moon of the new year. Last time I did a full moon scrying, it foretold my pregnancy with my daughter (which happened just a few weeks afterwards). This time, I believe it's talking about my career. It's still very new, and just began at the start of this year.

Usually, I use a black bowl of water. This time, I used my amethyst crystal ball. As I usually do at the start of the year, I ask the goddess what the year has in store for me.

The main point was for me to focus. Whether I was looking up or down, regardless of my bipolar mood. Focus, focus, focus. Even if that  means pulling things together or taking one at a time.

There were definite hints of Light and Shadow, which I'd like to attribute to my novel (which is about halfway through), but there were also hints of solid and ethereal (the solid was on top, but I'm not 100% sure if that makes a difference). I'd like to think this is telling me that the words I write down on the page are more important (and more useful) than the ones in my head; the book will never get finished if I don't write it down.

There were also two snowflakes. The closer I got, the more beautiful and intricate they were. They were usually apart, but sometimes got close together and seemed to dance around each other. When they would collide, it was just this beautiful intense rainbow and positivity.

The snowflakes were very much typical snowflake shapes on the outside, but the designs on them were very detailed on the inside. They were done in a series of tiny dots or pinholes, which let a bright light through. Sometimes the designs appeared to be human shaped (Gemini specifically) but sometimes it seemed like an open book. Always with symmetry.

I'm not entirely positive what the snowflakes were referring to. There were a few different things they could have been: my friend Michelle and I, who are two halves of a whole (literally sometimes I think we're the same person), my book and Michelle's (which are two tandem novels that intertwine), or my home life and my work life. 

All in all, I think as long as I focus on the task at hand as they come to me, and remember that FOCUSING is what I need to work on this year, everything will continue to go absolutely amazingly, as it has been since August. <3

Another Dream From the Cards

So, I pulled out my tarot cards last night. Late last night. I should have known they'd bring dreams, as always. Here's the link to the dream I had last night.

The Orphan Girl of the Moon

I had to set my cards aside when I got pregnant with my daughter last year, but she's one year old now, and I finally have the drive to pick it all back up. I'm really excited for that, because this learning curve with my cards is taking may more years than I had anticipated. Here's to finishing my initial run-through in 2016!

Studying the Cards: 9--The Hermit

Interpretation Given By My Everything Tarot Book states:
When the Hermit appears in a reading, there are two separate possibilities of interpretation. One is that a guide figure is at hand, offering help. Depending on the card's position in the layout, the guide figure may be close at hand only waiting for the querent to make communication with him, or he may be at a distance and require the person to make an effort through meditation or consciously beginning a search.
A second interpretation is that the questioner must voluntarily withdraw from contact with the outer world for a time in order to search his or her soul for the meaning of his or her life. The implication is that the inner work needs to be done now, and that Spirit cannot speak to you if you are totally distracted by the hurly-burly and noise of everyday life. The need to search for Truth for the individual is urgent, and it can only be done alone.
Whichever interpretation seems to suit the readee, and the question being put to the Tarot cards, the overall meaning is that the time has come to reunite with the Source, whether for guidance or inner balance. Sometimes, the guide figure may represent a person, such as a counselor of some sort--a therapist or clergy person--but usually it refers to inner guidance, or the getting in touch with a guide from the other side.

In a Reading:
The Hermit is a guide figure. Depending on where he appears in the layout, he is either nearby waiting for you to call on his wisdom, or he is waiting patiently for you to turn to him for advice. Usually, you are aware of his influence, but you may be ignoring it. At this time, you may be involved actively in seeking guidance from the "invisible world." This may take a physical form: you may be isolating yourself in some way, going out of town for a few days to be alone with yourself, or, if staying home, turning off the phone and seeking solitude. You want to gain some perspective on your life, and you are open to the inner guidance that is available to you upon request.

Description:
My book describes the Hermit as an old man holding a staff and a lighted lantern. In my card, it is a woman, wearing a white cloak and hood, and holding a staff with a lantern on the end. The robes are said to be plain and unadorned, like those of a monk, and the Hermit symbolizes wisdom in a way that most old men are depicted--the "sage" or wise man of legend. My Hermit does appear to be wise beyond her years, and although she doesn't look old, she has a strand of silver hair falling in front of her face.
The book describes the Hermit as always walking or standing, and looking off somewhere that we can't see--presumably towards our futures. He is a guide and a teacher, and the background is usually drawn as mountains in the distance, to symbolize the heights that he has reached and how he has returned to us to help us develop and reach those heights as well. The book notes that he is "wise in the ways of all the worlds, visible and invisible, material and immaterial." In my book she is sitting on the edge of a cliff, looking downwards into a rocky valley that I can't see. There are indeed mountains behind her, as in the traditional Hermit cards.
The book states that the Hermit is a loner, seeking truth, lighting the way for others to follow. He needs no sign of royalty because he is only there to guide us to the truth and show us direction. The book says that the wooden staff is to symbolize a connection to nature, and the staff in my card does seem to be made of wood.
The bent posture and serious expression connect the Hermit to Father Time, and the book also states he is connected to Saturn. Saturn symbolizes boundaries, limitations, and obstacles in life. His solitary lifestyle indicates the need to withdraw from the everyday world sometimes and regain perspective through "silent reflection." My card also displays a slightly bent over Hermit.

Details I've Noticed:
In my card, the Hermit is much like in other cards. It is a woman though, and although she doesn't seem old, she does have a visible strand of silver hanging in front of her face. She is slightly bent over, a symbol of having been through time and gained wisdom from experience. She is wearing a simple white robe with a white cloak and hook, reminiscent of the wise simple monks, and she carries a wooden staff with a curve at the top and a bright lantern hanging from the staff. The wood of the staff offers a sign that she is One with nature and the physical world, while her beautiful lacy white wings (on my card) indicates that she is also One with the spiritual inner world. Her lantern lights the way for others, as she is a guide and teacher and is here to offer advice and guidance as we take the journey that she has already been on. She sits on the edge of a cliff, which reminds me of the Fool card, and it makes me think that she is sitting at that same cliff as a sign that she has been with us since the start of our journey, just waiting for us to reach out to her for advice and help. The mountains in the background speak of the heights she has reached in her experiences, and the obstacles she will help us overcome as well, if only we ask. It looks like a sunrise is coming up behind the mountains, which I think means that the knowledge and advice we gain from the Hermit will lead us to brighter days.
In a reading, this card represents one of two things. It can either represent that there is someone in our lives that is waiting patiently for us to ask for advice, or that the person is far from us and we have to seek them out. It could also represent that we must withdraw from the rest of the world from time to time and reflect on who we are and who we want to be, deep within our inner selves.
I should also take note that the Hermit is card number 9, which is a number of humanitarianism, compassion, tolerance for differences, attainment of wisdom through experience, integration, and completion. Whatever cycle had just happened is ending now, and you have learned what you needed from it. You have learned much (or are about to learn much from the Hermit) and have recognized not only the wholeness of each individual around you, but of yourself as well. It is this understanding and wisdom that allows you to pass over differences and be forgiving and compassionate--as a wise one might be as well (like the Hermit, as an excellent example). But although this is a number of completion in the big picture, remember that this card teaches us to keep our introspection alive, so we don't lose ourselves in the totality.

Full Moon Scrying January 15, 2014

The very first thing I see is a heart, followed by a five pointed star. Good beginning.

I see a man and a woman, their faces close together. They are interacting in some way, talking maybe. They are close. Together, they begin to drift farther and farther into the distance. Up close again, I now see a beautiful, fully blossomed tree of life. Then, a large rabbit the size of the tree hops into view.

Now there is a white bird flying (maybe a dove?). It seems to be struggling a lot, something is blasting it with a chaotic force over and over, and the force keeps getting stronger and more frequent.

I see some shapes that resemble children but it is hard to tell. Throughout the jumble of images I am able to pick out a dinosaur and a bat. Then I see a few items, but they do not seem random. They seem to be in a specific order, like they are telling a story. The items are (in order): bells (like wedding bells), shoes, dolls, dancing, sex (between a man and at least one woman, but they were so tangled in each others arms you could not tell).

I see the letter E. Then it progresses into daily life. There is cleaning, and someone serving another. There is fire, emotional I think. Then a random duck appears, briefly.

Someone is wishing for something, I see this via hands rubbing a genie's lamp. There is someone or something all seeing, watching over as a tornado strikes. Now unseen, more cleaning. Always cleaning, always unseen and cleaning.

The white bird returns, struggling against a storm. Then there is another five pointed star, flowers, and the word DARK repeatedly, as if to ensure I saw it. There is a calming peace, a prosperous beehive, and music that brings to mind contentment and ease. However, DARK comes again, this time with fire.


All of this so far, I feel like belongs to someone else. And I have a good idea of who the someones were! This last bit is about me.


There is now a small bird making a very long journey. It seems to be trying to undergo some sort of metamorphosis. It is having a hard time. It is also tethered... to me.

Animals flash through the vision. Dolphin, squid, cat. The walls are closing in on the poor bird, from the south. The moon hangs ever-present and grows stronger. As it does so, the small bird faces less and less struggles. It becomes something bigger and better, and can now fight against the oncoming storm.

Right after expressing my desire to end my scrying, I am shown letters. They spell Brentley, then the word 'Cards'.

01/08/14 Tarot Reading (Older Deck)

Well, I wasn't going to put readings in this blog unless they were from my Crystal Visions deck. However, I knew I had to record this SOMEWHERE, because it was a huge important reading, and I wanted to be able to share it with those who it may affect without having to type it via Facebook chat.

First of all, a bit of background as to why I did this reading, and something interesting I noticed afterwards, before I began to type it up. Yesterday I was talking to my best friend and we wrote a healing spell. I was really happy with the way it came out, I felt proud of it because I felt a lot of power and potential in it. Earlier today hubby and I had revisited a discussion we have at least once a week: will he lose his job at work due to the unfortunate circumstances that arose last December? And if he finds a new job, will we be staying here in our area, or even in our state, or will we be moving across the country?

These are questions we ask ourselves and each other often. Mostly because we are both worried for the future and what will happen, where we will go, and who we will live near. We have family stretched across the U.S., so wherever we go we will be closer to some and farther from others. It's a win-lose-win however we look at it (but definitely always more of a positive than a negative).

So today I decided that hubby was stressed out enough as it is, and that the healing spell could help him out. I have never actually cast a spell, or performed a real ritual, so I was sort of winging it to the best of my ability. And I figured that, worst case scenario, it acts as a prayer rather than a spell... which is still putting good energy out there towards my hubby.

The Ritual

First, I got out a plain white ceramic bowl, a white candle, and a small twig of sage. On a piece of an index card, I wrote the following spell:
Light of Hope, Light of Faith
Heal him with your warm embrace.
My love and friend, he needs you now
His mind and body please endow
Share your strength, share your power
I ask you Goddess, in this Hour
Send away the pain and strife,
Lift his spirits--heal his life.

On the back of the card, I wrote:
For my husband, Michael Burton
Please help him find a good job, that pays well, that he will enjoy, that will heal him and make him feel better, something that will be good for him... for us all.

I then lit the candle, and without thinking rolled the wax around a bit to drip into the base of the candleholder, to make sure the candle didnt tip. Doing this cleared my mind. I took the sage and held the tip to the flame, and did a small smudging of the area I was sitting in, preforming this little ritual. Afterwards I set it in the ceramic bowl, and while it continued to smoke, I started talking to the Goddess. I just spoke outloud, the way I would talk to a friend, but I was very respectful and asked her nicely if she would please help me cast this spell, and if she would help my hubby, who needed her strength and healing. I said the spell, and as I spoke the last line, I touched the edge of the paper to the candle and watched  it begin to burn. Once half of the page was lit, I placed it gently into the ceramic bowl on top of the sage and sat there patiently watching it burn until it was nothing but ash. I didnt know how to conclude a ritual, but I knew that as a Roman Catholic, at the end of mass, we take communion (the body and blood of Christ) and I recently read something saying rituals commonly include cake and ale. I figured it was much the same idea, and though I did not have cake and ale, I had a small stuffed mushroom and some black tea, which I said out loud would have to be my replacement. Then I thanked the goddess for her time, offered "Blessed be" as a final word, and blew out the candle.

~~~

Well, wouldn't you know it, exactly three hours after completing the ritual, hubby gets a phone call.

He has been putting his resume out there on the internet, and someone called from Virginia. Not for a job in Virginia, but from a company that assists veterans and military in finding jobs when they get out of the service. They were talking about a job opening in Salt Lake City, Utah... where my dad lives. One of the places we had been looking at moving to, if they ever had a job. The starting salary naturally is lower than what he makes now, which is to be expected, but it's not a terrible drop. He asked hubby to send him a copy of his resume to put in for it. So, we will see what happens with that. But it was too much of a coincidence for it to be simply chance. I brought this with my spell. I was ecstatic at first... until I thought about my best friend.

My best friend moved out here to be closer to me. We had a rough patch, then reconnected. It would kill us both to be so far apart again. Then I was reminded of a dream I had last year. Right after the circumstances that made us consider a move in the first place. In the dream, I got two words: March, and Five. I was thinking about how I wanted a baby girl, and how I thought my friend might get pregnant and wanted to know when. But after today, I started to wonder if perhaps that reading was actually telling me when a new sort of life would begin. I did a moon scrying last month and asked about a baby, and the only definitive answer I got was the number 2. So now there are three words I received, and nothing to do but wait and see how they fit into my life. However, March is coming up fast, and I'm wondering if maybe "new life" is going to be a new life in Utah. But the number 2... will that mean the duality and friendship me and my bestie share will not be broken by the distance IF we do move? I needed to know more. So here is the Celtic Cross reading I did.

Also, keep in mind that everything comes in threes... It took THREE hours between the ritual ending and the phone ringing. There are THREE Major Arcana cards in this reading. The Empress--Major Arcanum THREE--is in the reading. She is a HUGE representation of the three for me, so I know she is the third.

If you don't want to read each individual card and what I gathered from it, at the bottom I give a short summary of what this means to me. Feel free to skip ahead if you like. =)

Celtic Cross Spread

Card 1: This covers you. Describes the querent's immediate concerns.
16: The Falling Tower
I'm concerned with the idea of moving. Of breaking out of this bad habit we are in, this horrible house and the constant saying "one day we'll get a better house." I'm concerned with hubby losing his current job, and us moving far from my best friend. My Everything Tarot Book says that sometimes, there IS a real loss... in this case, I'm worried that the loss will be my best friend... but that overall, the idea that things would have to change eventually could have easily been foreseen, and that I know it's time to let go of our current lifestyle and move on to better things. But I'm unsure how to move forward from here if the time does come that we move, especially if that move is to Utah.

Card 2: This crosses you. Describes obstacles facing the querent.
Ace of Wands
The obstacle presented is clearly moving to a new job. My Everything Tarot Book describes "a new beginning of an enterprise involving business or finance." Clearly the idea of actually leaving behind my discontent and negative energy is daunting... can I REALLY do something that is GOOD for me? But mostly, this is a new job opportunity for hubby. This card represents the possibility of him relocating us to Utah, if he is offered the position.

Card 3: This crowns you. Describes what is known to the querent objectively.
Eight of Cups
I know for a fact that it is time to get out of this house. The only option here, if the job becomes a definite thing, is to take it and move. This house is falling apart, we tried to fix it, and it just gets worse regardless of what we do. It is--on our financial budget--a lost cause. We know it, our families know it, the DOG knows it. Time to move on. Though, the reason this card feels sad in this reading, is because I will be leaving my best friend.

Card 4: This is beneath you. Describes past influences affecting the situation.
Nine of Swords
The past influences this card is describing are the events of last December, the entire reason we are looking for a new job and house in the first place. We are being forced to make changes, though I WILL see this as a positive card... we are being guided to step up and make the changes that we have continuously put off time and again. The fear and anxiety this card talks about is not just my own negativity from the prison of this house, but it is also the fear, anxiety, and disappointment of my hubby who strives to offer his family the life he feels they deserve.

Card 5: This is behind you. Describes past influences now fading away.
Queen of Wands
Without even needing to look this card up, I know it represents myself and my own mental and emotional struggles over the past years. This card is my Significator. You see, after being in this house for so long, alone and with only my depression to comfort me, marriage problems were arrising and we both knew that this house was the biggest change we could make. The first time we ever said out loud, in agreement, "One day, we will leave this house," it was like seeing the sun for the first time. It gave me hope and gave me something to look forward to. Now that me and my best friend are together again, it is no wonder that this card and it's influence in our reasons for leaving is in the position of fading away. I have not felt the depression since we reconnected. My emotional state is no longer the driving force behind our decision.

Card 6: This is before you. Describes new circumstances coming into being.
3: The Empress
For months I have been getting the Empress card in readings. For months, I have been reading for a hopefully-soon future pregnancy. I have been seeing children and the Empress both in my dreams, in my tarot readings, and in my scrying. Now, either this card is tossing in the "Hey by the way, dont forget, a pregnancy is coming soon!" or it represents something more. For example, the idea that I must be nurturing of my friendship with my bestie, most especially if our friendship becomes long distance again. It has caused me to wonder if perhaps all the "new life" I've been seeing in my visions is actually a true NEW LIFE, a new start, and new changes. As this card always comes in threes for me, I know the third meaning behind it is my newfound delving into spirituality. I am nurturing myself and my knowledge, and as three can also represent the motion of life, I am walking my path and growing as a person. Of course, even with the possibility of a move in the near future, I will still pray for a daughter. ;)

Card 7: This is your Self. Describes the querent's current state of mind.
19: The Sun
Okay I want to start out saying how perfectly this card fits-- as do they all, really, but this one in particular. Ever since getting my best friend back and officially coming out and being determined and proud in my spirituality, life has been up. I'm happy, I'm not depressed, I'm full of energy (most days) and I know that everything will be okay no matter what. I am motivated to learn and I am gaining confidence in myself. My current state of mind is that the Goddess has heard my prayers and will arrange things so it all works out, even if I don't understand her methods at this moment.

Card 8: This is your House. Describes what surrounds the situation.
Six of Coins
Now, this card makes sense, but not quite in the way the book describes. The book describes this card to mean that I am financially stable, and in a stateof abundance and prosperity. Not that we're doing badly, we get along just fine and usually have a little extra to spend. But this card is telling me that what is surrounding the situation is the opportunity to be abundant. The opportunity to have good coming toward us in the form of a new job. The opportunity for us to NOT experience financial insecurity. Basically, it's saying not to worry about what happens IF hubby loses his job, because we will be okay financially.

Card 9: This is what you hope or fear. Describes what the querent wants and/or fears.
Knight of Swords
This card represents action. It represents how much I want to get out of this house, how aggressive I am being in my spiritual affirmations, and how I expect everything will work out, that I will be in control. At the same time, he represents the fear I have of a struggle, of the conflict of being far from my best friend and what we can do about it. The fear that I will lose that battle, or be powerless to do anything positive toward the situation.

Card 10: This is what will come. Describes the likely future outcome.
Ten of Wands
This card calmed me down, but only slightly. It speaks of a new cycle, new responsibilities, and heavy burdens that I feel I CAN carry. This is good, because it is saying that no matter what happens, I have the faith that I can handle it. It does speak of possibly carrying more than my fair share of the weight, however, and this put one thought into my mind... the future outcome still has yet to be decided. It doesn't matter whether we move or not, I can handle a move. And if my bestie and I are far apart again, we've done it before and we did okay. What it means most though, is that I can ask for help. I dont have to sit here and worry about keeping in touch and being alone. Because hey, the strain and burden of moving is not just my own... my bestie and her man have also had moving on their minds. Who's to say they dont consider Utah too?

Summary:
I'm excited at the thought of hubby getting this new job. It stops us from worrying about what we'll do if he loses his current job, it brings us closer to my dad, it brings us to a part of the country that we enjoy visiting, it gives us the opportunity to find a new house and some land up north, and it will be an adventure. There is NO GUARANTEE that he will even get the job, and this all may be for naught. But one thing these cards are telling me for sure: something new is coming. And it's coming soon. A new adventure and a new aspect of life are headed our way, and no matter what, my friend and I can get through it TOGETHER.

Edit: Just a little amendment to the end of that, but I always ask for one last clarification card after a reading, for some advice. I got the 5 of cups. It tells me that all the freaking out I'm doing and worrying, I need to calm down. That I have a CHOICE, and that rather than sitting here worrying about what happened or what might go wrong, I can consider what can go RIGHT. All about the choice and how we look at it.

Full Moon Scrying, December 17, 2013

I recently joined a group of wonderful people online who share and support each other in Wiccan, witchcraft, and spiritual knowledge and practices. I have already learned a lot with them, and found the inspiration to search and learn even more. Tonight, beneath the full moon, I decided to try my hand...and eyes, and mind... at Moon Scrying.

Moon scrying is (essentially) gaining wisdom and divination from the power and energy of the moon, via reflections of the moon in a dark bowl of water. Letting thoughts and images come to you and recording them. I took to this from a slightly different approach, first conversing with The High Priestess, whose presence I felt strongly in the night around me. I told her how I've been talking to the Empress lately, and how I have been pleading with her for my next child to be a daughter. I asked her to use her infinite wisdom and knowledge to try and influence this in reality. I then charged the water, poured it, and began the scrying by focusing on my question and topic (the possibility of having a child in the near future, and letting that child be a daughter).

The first thing that came together was a spider... a small, black spider weaving her web, quickly but methodically winding back and forth. Then I saw what I can only describe as a single sperm, a seed of life suspended alone in mid-air. Then I write, "No, there are 2 now." I see something inching along slowly. There is a cloudy sky, and the clouds part to reveal a beautiful bright sunrise. There is a bright star. Sleeping. Vertical slashes of light, mostly white but with hints of rainbows at the edges, as if seeing glares of light through a crystal. The slashes of light are coming from the earth and extending upwards to the sky. Then, the number 2 pops into my head.

At this point I realize that I hear an owl hooting in the near distance. I turn to the left to look in its direction, and listen for a moment. I feel a tugging in my mind behind me to the right, and I turn around to look across the pasture and into the wooded area. I feel something is coming. Not rushing, but moving steadily enough that I feel it. I look up at the moon. There is a child sitting there, I feel like I'm looking at her through a window. She is a happy child. She waved to me. Now I hear many owls calling to each other... and something else. I've never heard an owl make that sound, nor any mammal. But I know they are telling me that I've received my answer, and that my night is ending. The last image I am sent in regards to my topic is a lush tree with many hanging branches... and I watch as they bear a single fruit.

Now my focus is released, and I allow my mind to clear and receive anything the Goddess and the High Priestess might have to offer me, any blessings they will grant me. I am shown a few symbols.

These symbols are: A six-spoked wheel. A star. A triple crescent symbol, with three crescents of different size and shape. And the image of a woman, kneeling beneath a tree, which is bending in the wind.

I see the face of...a lemur, perhaps? Then I see a skull. But just for a second. There is a hand, wildly spinning a white chalice. From beneath it, it pours energy into another chalice of gold with 2-3 blue bands. Something is wrapping itself up tight, and safe, then struggles to be free. A flame dances just out of sight, and only the shadows it casts verify its existence. Two flower petals flutter in the wind, then become the wings of butterflies, slowy drawn to each other and coming together as one. The image stirs, and I get a glimpse of a child growing in a womb.

At this point I know I am running low on concentration, and should complete my scrying. As I said I would, I ended the night in a prayer of healing and positive energy, to send forth to my brothers and sisters in my group. Many of them are feeling ill lately, or have close family  in need of healing thoughts. But as I raised the bowl to greet the moon in an offering, she began frantically scribbling letters on the surface of the water. They seem to be a jumble of letters, and a few may be missing, but here is what I recorded:
b r m h r d
bad n
brad a
rancie na (then an up arrow)
I recorded these letters, but I don't think they are for me. Perhaps someone else or someone from the group can gain some meaning from them.

The lettering ended pretty quickly, and the feeling of rushed communication as well. Peaceful once more, I again raised the bowl to the moon, offering her the healing waters and praying that she allow the energy and positivity to flow from me, through her, and down her moonbeams to shine love and light and rejuvenation upon the group, especially those who need her most. The last image she showed me, as I took the bowl back down towards my chest, was a white dove flying from myself into open arms, being embraced, and exploding into a bright light of energy that covered everything.

Now done, I offered the water to the Earth and went back inside to record this here. I haven't  put much thought into what I have recorded tonight, but I think I will do that tomorrow. I hope my brothers and sisters felt the energy I sent to them, and I hope it helps them however they may need it.

Benedetto sia
Blessed be~

One Year Later...

It has been a year since I wrote in this blog. It has not been a year since I used my cards, though. I have taken them out a few times and reviewed the ones I have already studied, but sadly I have not had the time or emotonal motivation to study further. It has been a rough year, one that has led me over a crumbling bridge from a rocky friendship, crossing through rough waters of depression, and suffering at the hands of fate who have taken a dear friend too soon for my liking.

Through this all, it would be a lie if I said I haven't had a chance to study my cards--I've had many chances. But it wasn't until two days ago that I decided I needed my cards, and to continue along the spiritual journey down which they were leading me.

So, the other night I put my cards under my pillow, to reaquaint my mind with them. And I had a dream that I have not been able to get out of my head. A few of the details are unclear, but the parts that mattered are what I remember.

In this dream, I was with my old friend Megan and her boyfriend Chris. We had gone out somewhere, and they were taking me back home. She was driving, he was in the passenger seat, and I was sitting in back. The "home" they took me to was the house I used to live in back in South Carolina, one of my favorites of the houses I've lived in. My hubby was waiting for me in the kitchen. As I was getting out of the car, via the passenger side, Megan turns to me. We began saying our good byes, but she slowed down for a moment, and asked me... "Why?" I know there was more to the question,  and I think there were even a few other questions as well. But it was the word 'why' that stuck with me.

The past few days I have asked myself the same question. Why? ...why what? Why now? I believe part of me is ready to talk to them again. To slowly rebuild the bridge between us and rekindle the friendship. I've continued to ask myself why as I considered this. Is it because the loss of my best friend has reminded me that life is too short to fight and hold grudges? Is it because I miss having someone to talk to that understands me and has many of the same unique interests as I do? The biggest things to me seem to be the house we lived in, in the dream, and the fact that Megan was driving the car. Those are the factors I believe to be most important in my contemplations.

First of all, the house. It was--and will always be--my dream home. Aside from sharing the house with Navy shipmates and the fact that it's located in South Carolina, that house was sheer perfection. Living there in a dream indicates that I firmly believe I will be living in a house I like one day in the future, that I will be happy with my home. It's no secret that I can't stand our current living situation, but this year I was given the hope that one day in the future, we will move out of this house and into a house that fits our wants/needs.

Second of all, Megan driving. When we went to Florida to pick her up, a huge part of that was knowing that we were doing it not only so we'd both have each other closer, but also so she could have a chance at a better life. We were going to help her get on her feet, help her get a driver's license, a car, a job, and possibly even back into school for a better education. We wanted to help her form a stronger sense of self reliance, and be able to support herself and her kids as a strong willed single mother should. What had hit me so hard was that she went from one relatonship where she was being supported directly into another, and I was upset that she hadn't even attempted to rely on herself first. I was afraid that we had put so much stock into helping her, only to have her use it as a means to reach her new boyfriend. Don't get me wrong, I was happy they clicked and that they were in love, but I thought they both needed to find themselves before they could really make such a radical life change. It has been nearly a year since we last saw each other, and it's not the fact that they are still together that makes me reconsider... neither is it the idea that I have no other choice--we've become friends with one of hubby's co-workers, and I get along wonderfully with his wife--no, what grts me thinking is that Megan has a job. She has taken a step for the better, a step that I have been waiting for. The thousand dollars we spent to drive to get her is not for a lost cause, because she IS, in fact, making positive changes! In the dream of course it was portrayed via her driving, but the idea is the same.

So now, here I am. Two friends down, depression playing games, and a long cold winter ahead. I cant help but wonder how the year will end. But I can make good use of it, and I know it is time to pull my cards back out. I could use a bit of spiritual guidance, friendship, and hope... and the idea that my friend may now be there to help aid in the guiding process... it's just one more reason I am motivated.

Tonight I held my cards, and went through the Major Arcana, comparing my initial thoughts of a year ago to my thoughts today. Tomorrow, I will review the ones I have previously studied. Hopefully I get much farther in 2014 than I did in 2013. May next year be ever better than this one.

Arcanum Journey: Six through Eight

I have studied the next three cards in the Major Arcana:
Six--The Lovers
Seven--The Chariot
Eight--Strength
I have found a connection between these three cards, and although they do follow the first six cards, they seem connected to each other more.

After having opened yourself to the Universe, been given the tools and access to the knowledge you seek, and being introduced to the four aspects of your inner Self, you are ready to move on and conquer the obstacles and inner conflicts that trouble you.

The Lovers is all about union. It's about looking inside yourself and coming to terms with the opposites and inner conflicts; it's about admitting and accepting your opposites and joining them together to become a unified duality. For instance, realizing that you can be muscular and still gentle, or beautiful and still smart. It's more than that though, it's understanding that your physical and spiritual selves work together in harmony. This card is also about romantic love and the joining of two people, although in a spiritual sense it's all about your own inner needs and self-love. This card also poses a choice, having to be discriminatory at times in order to move on and master the opposing forces within. Whatever choice you make, however, will be the right one, because it will make you whole.
The Chariot is the process of overcoming these forces and mastering them. The beasts that pull the chariot are the conflicting forces, and they are being mastered and controlled to work together in harmony and unison and guide the charioteer. This card is learning to use the opposites to your benefit, and move yourself in a forward direction toward something better.
Strength is the clarity and power you have after you have mastered your conflicts. Once you are in charge and in touch with yourself, Strength is the perfect combination of intuition and animalistic instinct that guides you and proves your strength, confidence, and worldly power. You use these traits spiritually, rather than overtaking everything physically. It shows your own "inner strength" and the willpower to overcome anything with your mind rather than just your body. This card says to me, "you have the clarity of mind now to go where you want to go, and to trust in that little voice in your head." This card boasts of victory, because you have officially overcome the obstacles you faced from the Lovers, and you have mastered the beasts of the Chariot.

I know in my heart that I still have obstacles and choices I must make and reconcile with. I believe this to be the area of my spiritual journey that I myself am on. I am curious as to what the next cards in the Major Arcana will reveal, since I think they will be what I have to look forward to in the upcoming stages of my life.

Studying the Cards: Eight-- Strength

Interpretation given by my Everything Tarot book states:
When Strength appears in a reading, you are exhibiting moral courage and fortitude. You  have learned to work in harmony with your own instinctive nature, to listen to it and hear its whisperings. As in tales of the hero's journey, the seeker often meets with animals, representative of the instinctive realm, who guide and help him on his way. Strength indicates that you have come through difficulties and learned to rely on inner strength to solve your problems.
This is a time when faith in yourself will pay off, when your position is strong because you have made yourself strong through suffering trials and tribulations without being defeated by them. It is a time to let people around you know who you are--especially anyone who has been dominating you.
The indication is that it is the feminine principle that does the work of reconciling the mental-rational facility with that of the intuitive-instinctive nature. The feminine is always in closer touch with nature than the masculine. Whether the reading is for a man or a woman, the same principle applies. The lesson is that we do not conquer our animal natures by brute force (which is the typical masculine mode of approach to obstacles) but by gentleness and feeling our way into rapport with the instinctive side of our nature.
Depending on the placement of the card in the spread and the question that is being asked, Strength is an indication that what is required in the situation is for spiritual strength to replace or overcome physical strength.

In a reading:
You have come through severe trials and triumphed. You have found your deep inner strength, and it will from now on see you through whatever comes your way. You are firmly connected to the instinctual world (represented by the lion) and you are able to make friends with it and control it for your own benefit and that of others. Emotionally, at a gut-level, you are connected positively to your animal self, and this will protect and care for you. Your inner drives are in harmony with your outer needs and your instinctive nature is supporting all that you do or hope to do. At this time, your logical mind--if it is in conflict with your intuitive knowingness--is not as important in making decisions as is what you feel to be right for you. Whatever decisions you make, or actions you take, will be successful.

Description:
My books states that Strength is depicted with a woman and a lion. There does not appear to be a struggle between them, and the woman seems to be in complete control and is even being gentle and loving. A few decks show it being a young man wrestling with the lion, but more often than not it is a woman. In my deck, it is a young woman kneeling behind a lion. In the Waite deck, the woman is bent over the lion and has her hands on his jaws, gently closing them. She does not expect him to fight back or give resistance at all. She is being very affectionate and caring with him. On my card she is kneeling behind the lion, with one hand reaching down and resting on his jaw, as if softly holding it shut. In the Waite deck she has a flowing garment and a ring of flowers in her hair; in my deck she is wearing a more physically-allowing outfit, with knee-high boots and a staff. She does not have flowers in her hair, but the card does show sunflowers surrounding the cliff that her and the lion are resting on. Many times she has the symbol for infinity above her head, though in my card that symbol is atop the staff she carries, as well as a clear crystal ball.
My books says that many people interpret this card to mean a struggle with one's animalistic nature, though he sees it as a symbol of self-confidence, inner strength, and being in harmony with instinctive nature. He sees the woman as taming or befriending the lion, with the lion representing animal nature and instinct in humans. My books says, "Though the lion is clearly the more physically powerful of the two, the woman represents human courage and will power that masters the instinctive realm not by force but by cooperation."

Details I've noticed:
On my card, Strength is represented by a woman, clad in powerful red, kneeling behind a lion. She has one arm over his shoulder, her hand gently holding his jaw closed. The lion is laying down, resting in the position that most cats lay in when relaxed and at ease. The woman is looking over the lion into the distance, in much the same direction that the lion is facing. I believe this stands for a continuation of the Lovers and the Chariot cards: after having realized your opposites and inner conflicts, and after having brought them together in reconciliation and mastering their respective power, you now are at peace with your inner strength and can control it with ease and care. No longer struggling with your conflicts, you have overcome obstacles and are now in command. You are confident and self-assured, and you have come to trust your intuition and animal instinct, allowing it to guide you. The eagles from overhead in the Chariot are present here in Strength, representing (as the card represents itself) strength, confidence, and protection. The lion IS stronger than the woman, and so not only does the lion represent that she is in control of her intuitive-instinctual side, but that it also guides her and protects her. There are sunflowers surrounding the cliff they are on, representing (to me) more confidence and surety.
I find it interesting that the woman holds a staff with the infinity loop and a clear crystal ball. She has a firm grasp on it, showing that she is in control. The crystal ball is completely clear, and you can see straight through it. I see this to mean that since she has the confidence and the power and is working together with her intuition and animal instinct, things look clear and it is easy to see both the current situations and the future ones. Intuition guides her, telling her what she needs to know without having to search for it. The infinity loop represents that her intuition will continue to guide her through all times and for as long as she continues to have a firm grasp over her "lion."
Strength is represented by the number eight. Eight represents "material prosperity, worldly power or influence." It stands for leadership and authority, a strong trait in the Strength card. The eight is the infinity symbol turned on its side, representing "cosmic consciousness" and the idea of spirituality and all ends meeting together in the cycle of life. Eight talks about skills of organization and management, which you must have to master the instinctual lion within yourself.

Update:
Today is February 9th, 2014 and I am reviewing the cards that I have already studied. The Strength card still has a lot of similar meanings to me that it did before, although now I can see that it is not just a card of strength and instinctive intuition, but as the number 8 and representing infinity it is also a card of abundance. I see the sunflowers now as being a symbol of this abundance. This card mostly represents being at one with your instinct and intuition; a continuation from the Chariot card. You have learned to master your conflicts, and are now confident and assured in your endeavors with your new strength. Using our instinctive animal intuition, we are able to feel what we must do with our hearts, rather than our logic.

Studying the Cards: Seven-- The Chariot

Interpretation given by my Everything Tarot book states:
When the Chariot appears, there is a need to be in control of competing forces, whether these are inner conflicts or whether they represent people or a situation in your life that requires you to take command in order to reach your goals. Like the celebrated but seldom achieved "bipartisanship" of government, the solution to the problem at hand is to take the middle road between the conflicting elements.
You may feel unequal to the challenge of controlling the multiple factors of a given situation, but if you choose to just "go with the flow" and make the best of where it takes you, you will succeed. Once you have resolved within your own mind the conflict, even if that requires considerable struggle, you will be in a position to stay on course. To do this, you need firm resolve--self-mastery. With a strategy determined by clear-thinking and a sense of purpose, you will overcome all obstacles.
Receiving the Chariot in a reading, depending on its position in the spread, is generally favorable. It indicates you have the means to triumph over all obstacles and stay the course you have set for yourself. It can also mean that assistance is on the way as a result of your own strength and determination. It can also suggest you are in the process of transforming yourself and your ways of thinking and doing in order to create a firm foundation from which to go forward and achieve your desires. You are at this time keenly aware of how to use your past experiences to reach a major goal and you are in touch with deep inner resources.
At a literal level, it relates to travel and transportation and could mean changing your mode of transport, such as buying a new car, or traveling by rail or some other form of wheeled vehicle.

In a reading:
Victory is assured! Things are moving fast, and transition is occurring rapidly. You are holding things together successfully, uniting opposite energies to stay on track. This is a situation where you are completely, totally involved, and happily so. You are feeling together with yourself and whatever task is at hand to be accomplished. Though the pace is faster than usual, you are attuned to the rhythm of it and keeping up with the changes that are happening--at your job, in your relationship, with your career, or in some community or worldly involvement. You are sensitive to the minor adjustments you must constantly make to keep things going right.

Description:
My book describes the Chariot as being a strong male, fully armored and carrying a scepter. He is in a chariot, at the reins of two beasts, one black and one white. My Chariot is a strong female, with some leather armor but not a lot, and she has one hand on the rail of the chariot and one hand holding the reins of two horses, one black and one white. The harnesses on the horses are opposite colors as well; the black horse has a white harness and the white horse has a black harness. The wheels on the chariot are said to represent the ever-changing life cycles--the Wheel of Time. On some cards, the animals are pulling in opposite directions and the charioteer must hold "the reins taut to keep them in tandem, another symbolic statement of the need to master and reconcile conflicting needs, both inner and outer." My horses seem to be going in the same direction, though the white one seems to veer more to its left and the black one looking more to its right. My books says that the beasts represent the opposing forces that were reconciled at the stage of the Lovers. This also represents the person's mastery of these opposing forces and control over inner conflict. The books also says that this card tells us that before we can take on outer forces or enemies we must first be in charge of our inner opposites so they can function in harmony.
The Chariot is a symbol for Self and its direction, just like any vehicle appearing in a dream.

Details I've noticed:
On my card, the Chariot is steered by a strong-willed woman, dressed for action but not battle. She is controlling something and taking charge, but she is not fighting it. She is in a simple chariot with wings behind it and golden wheels. The chariot she is in represents her sense of self direction, the wheels representing the cycles of life, the Wheel of Time. In her right hand she holds the reins of two horses, one white and one black. The horses represent opposing forces, different actions or emotions or traits, that have come together to work in unison. Each of the horses are harnessed in their opposing colors; the black horse has a white harness and the white horse has a black harness. Once again, the cooperation of opposing forces. The horses are going the same direction, though they are each looking off to their respective sides as if they would rather go different ways. The woman has the reins held evenly though, mastering and controlling the beasts equally. She is ensuring that they go the same way, together, though she has her other hand resting on the rail of the chariot, as if she is allowing them to guide her. I think this means that after you have acknowledged and unified your opposites and resolved the conflicts within yourself, you must master them and use them together. Make them work for the same cause. However, just because you are mastering them does not mean you should force them in any particular direction; choose where you want to go, but let them lead you there.
The woman's hair is flying behind her, showing that the Chariot is moving at a fast pace. There are eagles flying in the sky, showing how regal and imperial she is, and she truly is important in the reign of one's Self. Farther in the background, the clouds seem to form uneven peaks and ridges, which represents to me that she is leaving conflict behind. What I found interesting is that this card is number seven; my book says that number seven is all about soul-searching and solitude. It's about "inner life," and seven is a very mystical number symbolizing wisdom. A time to search on a spiritual level, exploring yourself and your individuality. This is not a time to do anything material or physical related or start anything new physically; this is a spiritual number and your energy should be focused thus. Analyze your past experiences and examine your current ones. Just find your own path in life. This is a great number for the Chariot, since this card is all about self discovery, self mastery, and spiritual control and direction.

Update:
Today is February 8th, 2014 and I am reviewing the cards that I have already studied. The Chariot still holds the same meanings to me; it is about taking the conflicts and the two sides of the Lovers card and steering them in the direction you desire. In a reading this card means that you might be moving forward very quickly, that something might be escalating fast and you might feel like it's out of your control, but you DO have control over it, and at this time you have the ability to make the subtle changes required to keep moving the right direction. This card in the journey represents leaving behind the conflicts and the choice of the Lovers card, taking both sides together and using them to work toward the common goal and direction.

Studying the Cards: Six-- The Lovers

Interpretation given by my Everything Tarot book states:
Although many readers interpret this card as basically about romantic love, it is allegorically a statement about union--of opposites, whether people, such as a man and a woman, or inner conflict. The Lovers refers to discrimination in the making of choices, and the male and female figures are symbols not only of human love and marriage but also of the dual nature of ourselves. We all have opposite traits within ourselves that need to be reconciled and lived with, just as well as married couples, or any other sort of partners, experience conflict that requires making choices, sometimes tough ones, and effecting reconciliation.
When the Lovers appears, it is pointing to this need to heal an inner rift. Although it can herald a romantic involvement, it most often turns up when a critical life decision must be made, sometimes in connection with a love relationship. There are obstacles to be overcome, both within and without.
This card suggests that you are at a crossroads--you have to consider all of the ramifications of the situation and carefully make discriminating choices in order to further your own development and to accommodate the needs of others in the situation. There may be much activity in the form of short trips (one person may live in another place, for example), or you may be commuting to contact business partners.

In a reading:
This is a card of cooperation, of working together in coalition with others to accomplish joint purposes. It stands for attraction of any kind, not only of the romantic variety, and for any venture requiring harmony, union, and cooperation. There can be an indication of a choice being required between two factors of equal worth--but the choice you make will be the right one. Or, two or more forces or people may have come together in your life in pursuit of a common goal. This may be a temporary conjoinment for some specific purpose.

Description:
My books says that there are two basic images for the Lovers. The first basic image is a pair of young lovers, though how they are placed and clothed depends on the deck. Some are naked, though mine are clothed. Some are standing apart, some are touching; my deck shows the male holding the female with her head resting against his chest. On many decks, there is an angel overhead blessing the union. In my deck, there is a pair of white doves, each holding the end of a pink ribbon that wraps around the couple. In many decks, the imagery suggests that there is a choice and that there may be a union. The second basic image depicts three people, suggesting that the third party was an influence on the relationship of the other two. In decks that have three people, there is often "cupid" pointing his arrow at one of the women, implying that the man had to make a choice between them.

Details I've noticed:
On my card, there is a man and a woman embracing. They both look peaceful and content, with their arms around each other and her head resting against his chest. There are ribbons wrapped around the two, and above them are two white doves with their wings spread out, each holding an end of the ribbon. To me, this symbolizes love and a union of sorts. Not just a union though, but a blessed union, one that is surrounded by happiness. I do not believe that love is restricted to a man and a woman, so I believe the reason they are depicted as a man and a woman is to resemble opposites. The yin and yang qualities. That means that it can also represent a union or coming together of a single person; acceptance of who they are, a union of all of their qualities. It can mean agreeably joining ones physical world with their spiritual realm; this is the meaning I like the most from this card and the one I think resonates strongest to me. At the front of the card, across the bottom and trailing up the sides, are rose vines. The vines have both the roses and the thorns, with the dark green leaves setting off the bright pinks of the roses. The woman is also holding a rose. I'm not sure exactly how to translate that, but I know it has something to do with making a choice. As if the vines represent there being two options, the flower or the thorn. Obviously no one is going to choose the thorn, which means that since she picked the rose, she made the right choice. That tells me that if this card represents a choice to be made, the one you choose will be right for you. There is also a single pink butterfly in the center of the rose vines. The beginning of something new, the rebirth of a person, having made a decision to transform, starting fresh with all their new self-discoveries. The sky overhead appears to be at sunrise, with the clouds parting to shine a white light onto the Lovers.
The Lovers is also represented in the number six. Six is all about social responsibility, about caring, compassion, and a time to be simple and calm and resolve any issues that the storm that was number five has caused or left behind. Six is about harmony with yourself and your surroundings. It's a time to relax and enjoy the rewards from the planning and action you took. With the six, "you are comfortable with both yourself and your circumstances."
What I gather from all this is that the Lovers represents a few different things. It can sometimes represent an actual union between lovers, between two people who have chosen to share a romantic relationship. It can sometimes stand for a choice to be made, though your decision will always be the right one. Often times it not only means a decision, but that there is some sort of inner conflict between two parts of someone, and a choice has to be made to make peace between the two. It is about joining ones physical world with their spiritual world, and accepting the different parts of oneself and becoming "whole" with the different aspects of the person joined together amicably. Sometimes this is only a temporary joining; butterflies do not live forever. This card is enhanced with the Six. Being comfortable and happy with what you have, accepting and enjoying yourself and your surroundings. It's about harmony, and solving problems (making choices) to better yourself.

Update:
Today is February 8th, 2014. I am going back over the cards I have already studied to see if I notice anything new. The Lovers card doesn't seem to have anything new that I haven't already taken note of. It is about a union, sometimes between two people and often between different parts of ourselves. We must accept all of ourselves, both the good and the bad, to form the union. Six is about harmony and reconciliation after the chaos of Five. This card can also represent a choice to be made, but have faith that you will make the right choice.

Arcanum Journey: Zero through Five

Many times I have been told, and I have read, that the Major Arcana tells a story. A story of a spiritual journey through life. I have had interest in Tarot for years and have worked with my starter deck for a long time now, and not once have I ever actually seen any sign that the cards really tell a story.

Then again, not once have I ever actually studied the cards and paid close enough attention to what they were trying to tell me. I have never opened myself up to the true power of the cards, I have never allowed them to speak through me rather than just to me. Now that I've begun studying my personal deck and really getting to know it, I'm beginning to see the bigger picture. I had gotten through the first three cards in October without really understanding the connection, but yesterday I picked them up again--finally having the time to study another card--and found myself having one of those 'A-ha!' moments. The cards just seemed to fall into place, and I was seeing connections to them left and right. I don't know if perhaps I had to get through more cards in order to see it, or maybe I just needed to stand back and see it all, like a map, rather than up close. Either way, I feel like I've formed the first TRUE bond with my cards, and I'm excited to study more.

But first, I'd like to write out this revelation of mine, so I can look back on it later and see how the next cards fit into the story. I feel like I've actually stepped forward on the path of my own personal spiritual journey.

So far, I have studied the first six cards in the Major Arcana.
0--The Fool
1--The Magician
2--The High Priestess
3--The Empress
4--The Emperor
5--The Hierophant
These first cards are what seems to be the beginning and the foundation of the journey.

The Fool is the first step; he is letting go of your fears and your insecurities and your philosophical doubts and taking the proverbial "leap of faith", saying that you are ready for a spiritual path to open up before you. You want it, and you are willing to trust the Universe and go where it leads; not necessarily blindly following, but hopefully trusting. You are clearing your mind, emptying your cup... You are at the start, though you have not yet started. It's like, getting into a vehicle which is about to take you on a long road trip. You haven't pulled out of the driveway yet, but you're in the car. It is the start of a new beginning, the welcoming of a new life.

The Magician is the Universe responding to you. He tells you that now, since you have opened yourself up to the spiritual world and are ready for it, he will begin to reveal answers to the mysteries of your inner Self. The first of these answers is the fact that you hold within yourself all the tools and knowledge and power to change the worlds around you, both your spiritual world and your physical. You can use these tools and knowledge, but only for positive ends. He is the true beginning of the journey, where you have everything you could ever need laid out before you, and you have only to imagine what you truly want or need, and you can make it so. He tells you that your physical world and your spiritual world are one and the same; your reality can be mere illusion, and illusion can solidify into reality.

Now that you have faith in the Universe and are willing to follow where it leads, and now that you know you have the power and tools to change your own life and outlook, you are introduced to the four people who will help guide you and teach you, who make it all possible.

The High Priestess and the Hierophant go together, as opposites working together to create balance and unity. In the same way, the Empress and the Emperor go together as well. The High Priestess and the Hierophant represent the two forms of the spiritual world and their connection to the physical world; the Empress and the Emperor represent the two forms of the physical world and their connection to the spirit realm.
The High Priestess talks about raw intuition. Getting in touch with your most inner Self, letting go of the physical world if need be and focusing on your truth, intuition, understanding, and subconscious. Literally being in the dream world. She states that there is a lot in this dream world, the Otherworld, that you don't understand or that has yet to be revealed to you, and that with meditation and divination and self exploration you can discover the answers you seek. You must want to see the answers though, you must actually seek them out. Once you know and are confident in your spiritual and intuitive beliefs and philosophies, you can begin to alter the physical world around you.
The Hierophant, although being of the spiritual world, is the physical representation of it. He stands for the established order, the named religious group or community in the physical world. He is the bridge between the two worlds, the speaker of the Universe. However he does not have to represent an actual religion; he can just be the philosophy or set of beliefs that you hold close. Either way, he is where you turn to in the real world when you need physical confirmation or support for your spiritual thoughts. A word of warning, however: power is corrupting, especially when one has such a position to be translating the "word of God", where they are in charge of someone elses spirituality. In such an instance, he represents a choice. Do you follow blindly, or do you go off on your own and make your own decision on what to believe? The Hierophant means that once you know and are confident in your belief system that you hold true to in the physical world, including morals, ethics, traditions, and duties, you can begin to alter the spiritual world around you.
The Empress goes back to the High Priestess in her high position and reverence. She is the ultimate mother--Mother Earth, the Virgin Mary, the fertility Goddess. She represents the female aspect of the physical realm, with all her spiritual strength. She is procreation, healing, nurturing, guiding, and life. She has the ability and the want to help and nurture others, and she has the physical strength so as not to deplete herself while doing so. She is the culmination of the Three, in whatever way resonates strongest with you personally. Whether as the mother, father, and child; as the Creator, the Sustainer, and the Destroyer; or as the spiritual world, the physical world, and the Otherworld (the dream world). She also represents the mother in a traditional family as well, as the housewife with her values and her place in the home.
The Emperor goes back to the Hierophant in his position as ruler. He is the authoritative father, literally representing authority, leadership, and strength. He is a passive ruler, guiding the physical world of the here-and-now with a watchful eye and a firm hand. He never goes looking for a fight, but he will not hesitate to defend or protect his morals or those things he feels responsible for. He is straightforward and confident in his traditions and values. He states that there is no rationalizing immoral behavior or saying that the end justifies the means; you do what you know to be right and good, and do not compromise your morals. He is the foundation, the rock to lean on and the mountain to look up to, and he is also the foundation of the traditional family as well. He takes the place of the father (naturally) and the family follows his example and values. He strives to have his physical accomplishments stand through time as a legacy to leave behind. His physical strength is drawn from his spiritual solidarity.

Now that I've gotten through the first few cards and really made the connections between them, I feel confident in my ability to continue on and understand and connect the rest of the Major Arcana as well. This has been an amazing journey already, and even just with these few cards I can almost feel myself opening up to a whole new spiritual world within. I don't know how I've made it this far in life without having this basic understanding, without knowing just how willing the Universe is to teach me. I suppose this is the feeling people get when they truly find God. It's amazing what you see when your eyes are opened.

Studying the Cards: Five-- The Hierophant

Interpretation given by my Everything Tarot book states:
When the Hierophant appears in a reading, there is the suggestion that the person has chosen a specific religion or a particular life philosophy with which to guide his or her life. In such a case, there is usually a great deal of loyalty to it, whatever the person's concept of "God" may be. there is also the possibility of disentangling one's self from such an association.
In some organized religions, the supreme deity does not speak to the individual directly, or to the general populace. Therefore, institutionalized religion makes use of human "interpreters" who preach or teach the "word of God" or the divine will to their followers.
the Hierophant symbolizes any organized institution, be it religious, philosophical, or educational, spiritual or temporal, that exerts authority over its followers or participants, a kind of "mind control." In such groups there is always a person, or a group of people, doing the controlling. They always insist that their way is the only way, that theirs is the ultimate truth: either you obey them or you will be damned to all eternity.
Therefore, when the Hierophant appears, the idea of choice is posited. At this stage of your spiritual development, you are challenged to remain a follower or to break out and find your own individual spiritual truth. This card suggests that you have the opportunity--and often the desire--to choose your own road to salvation, to interpret the "word of God" in your own way. The Hierophant presents this challenge: will you continue to depend on an outside authority, or will you learn to think for yourself? The answer is yours alone, and there may be considerable conflict concerning the issue, but what you decide will affect the rest of your life and how you live it spiritually. This is not always a positive card, for it can indicate those who wish to exercise authority over others for their own purposes.

In a reading:
There is a traditional factor active in your life, whether it is a religion, a philosophy, a social organization, or any other authoritative group. You feel a great deal of loyalty to this tradition or group and find it supportive. You choose to live in accordance with the beliefs you have in common with the group or organization. You may aspire to become a leader, or you may have a close relationship with the leader. This group or tradition serves you in many ways, inspirationally, as a teacher, as emotional support. There may also be a judgmental quality involved where you are expected to follow a certain set of beliefs and, if you fail, you are called to account.

Description:
My book describes the Hierophant as "a figure of the same authority and power as the Emperor, with the difference that the Hierophant's power is of a spiritual nature while the Emperor's is temporal." Because of this he is depicted as a religious leader, some decks actually labeling him as "the Pope." He is seated on a throne, in a priestly garb, crowned, and holding a scepter. The religious theme of the deck will alter exact details around that. In my deck, he is in priestly clothing and he is seated on a simple throne, though rather than being "crowned" I see it as just being part of the priest attire, since it is--as best I can describe--a pope hat. He isn't holding the scepter in my card, though the same scepter is sitting in a stand beside him. His scepter symbolizes the three worlds: physical, astral, and etheric. His free hand, as on my card, is held up and in a position of blessing.
Most cards show a few people, acolytes, facing him as supplicants or students. This represents his wisdom and understanding as a religious authority. Like the Emperor, my books says he is a passive figure containing in himself the wisdom of a spiritual calling, and like the High Priestess he sits between two pillars representing the duality of the spiritual and physical worlds. Like my own High Priestess, there are no pillars on the card. He is much like an actual priest in his title as pontifex, meaning "maker of bridges" as it is his duty to form the link between the spiritual and physical world, the world of the gods with the world of men.
He is much like a teacher, offering knowledge and wisdom to those who seek the keys to the sacred Mysteries. He has two crossed keys, representing intellect and intuition and the need  to use them in tandem, in a morally conscious context. This includes the desire and responsibility for making spiritual decisions for others and blessing them. "Unlike the High Priestess, whose world is primarily internal and ephemeral, the Hierophant's influence is of-this-world and his spirituality can be achieved through conscious choices made on an intellectual basis."

Details I've noticed:
On my card, the Hierophant is a simple, passive man sitting on a simple throne. He is wearing priestly attire, and has an eight-spoked wheel behind him with each point leading to a spiritual symbol, representing multiple different religions and beliefs. He has a pair of crossed keys on his headpiece, and seems to look directly at me while offering a blessing with his right hand. He has a candle on the left of him and the scepter on the right of him.
Based on what I know, I would say that the Hierophant is a man of passive power and authority. However, unlike the Emperor who reigns over the current time and world, the Hierophant rules over the spiritual realm. He is a spiritual leader and teacher, and a connection between our physical world and the spirit world. He can represent a religious establishment, though mostly I think the purpose of him is just to represent whatever philosophy or belief system you hold, and to encourage you to be firm in your faith. He cautions that actual religious establishments can become corrupt, with the priest becoming too powerful, and taking other people's spirituality in his own hands, telling them that his word is law and that they must obey or be damned! It's at this point in time that the Hierophant offers a choice. Do you follow blindly like sheep, or stand firm and make your own decisions and choices?
This card is also represented by the number five. This number is about freedom and creativity, excitement and challenge and adventure! It's active and impulsive and physical. I don't see the Hierophant as being quite impulsive, but he is certainly about freedom, creativity, and challenge. He is about taking charge and doing what you know is right, sometimes taking risks but knowing that you're doing it for the right reasons.

Update:
Today is February 8th, 2014. I am going back over the cards I have already studied and looking to see if I can learn anything new from them. The Hierophant is perhaps the hardest card I have studied, and will probably continue to stay the hardest card for me. Though it does make sense, I am trying to connect the four aspects between High Priestess, Empress, Emperor, and Hierophant. I understand the four aspects and how they connect, but somehow I think it is supposed to have a bit more duality and opposite to it. Even though it is all about that. Oh well. The Hierophant stands as a teacher, and a midpoint between the physical and spiritual realms. Whereas the Emperor relates to the religious order in the physical world, the Hierophant is the same leadership position in the spiritual world. He is your own personal belief system, and reminds you to hold to yourself and your beliefs regardless of what happens in the physical world. It is in this aspect that he gives us a choice. And he is indeed a card of choice. His duality with the High Priestess comes into play here as a teacher of the spiritual world. Her more feminine intuition side works in tandem with his masculine intellect, to lead us along our spiritual path and religion. He is our pontifex, our maker of bridges, between the worlds. It is through the Hierophant that we can balance our intuition and intellect to come to informed and morally conscious decisions in life. He does not have to represent an actual pope or priest, but can represent the pontifex within ourselves, our own way of connecting our spiritual life to our physical. So in a reading I would see this card to mean someone who is perhaps a teacher or guide, but also to remind us that there is a choice to either blindly follow those we view as leaders, or to make our own decisions about what we want to do.

Studying the Cards: Four-- The Emperor

The interpretation given by my Everything Tarot book states:
When the Emperor appears, look for issues related to authority. Although the Emperor represents worldly power and wisdom, he is not simply a figure who gives commands to others. His achievement is to understand that the maintenance of peace and security requires the willingness and ability to defend it. "The price of freedom is eternal vigilance."
The emperor is a teacher figure, and what he teaches is the meaning and use of power in this world of the here and now. Though not overtly aggressive, he tells us that it is necessary sometimes to take up arms against negative or evil forces. With the Emperor, there is no compromising with one's knowledge of what is right and good, no rationalizing that the ends justify the means. As a protective male force, especially of the home and of domestic harmony, he personifies the ideal that what is worth having is worth fighting for.
The Emperor in a reading can also indicate issues relating to one's relationship with one's personal father, or to authority figures in general. He can mean that the time has arrived to become the authority figure rather than depending on others to wield the sword in one's behalf. In my experience, the Emperor often appears when the person is struggling to achieve personal independence, to overcome the inner parent tapes, to become his or her own person.
The Emperor says that one must, often at a late date in life, come to terms with what "father" means in his or her life, and face and reconcile issues related to this issue. Whether the personal father relationship has been positive or negative, it is important to realize that at some point an adult must in fact become his or her own father.
When the Emperor appears, he can be an indication that the real father of the person has either recently died or may die soon, a situation which can bring up feelings of being abandoned by a protective father figure. If this is the case, then the person must face up to responsibility for his or her own life. Even if the personal father was a negative factor, there is always a yearning for someone else to take care of us, protect us, advise us. Yet, in the final analysis, separation from the parents is a crucial stage in human development and must be accomplished.
Another interpretation is that there may be someone in the person's life who is acting as a father figure, a boss or a husband. Whether this is positive or negative will be indicated by the placement of the card in the layout.

In a reading:
This is an indication that you are involved with the established order, or involved with someone else who is a representative of the "establishment." You may have a need to identify with a powerful group, whether religious, ideological, intellectual, or political. You may be attending meetings related to a particular culture, social group, institution, economic group, company, or community that enable you to identify with this power. You may be feeling a need to belong--to be "one of them." Or you may be associating with someone else who has this need.

Description:
My book describes the Emperor as being a figure of supreme authority. Usually seated on a throne and flanked by animals, my deck shows him standing alone up on a high cliff, and although not flanked with animals, his headpiece has the horns of a ram and an eye mask that reminds me of a bird somehow. In the Waite deck, the animals that flank him are ram's heads (so the same symbolism is present anyways) which is symbolic of traditional masculine power. He is often portrayed as wearing robes over a full suit of armor, holding a scepter in the shape of an ankh, and is crowned elaborately. In my deck he does seem to be wearing armor of a sort, though it appears to be a thick leather. He wears a cloth cape over his shoulders, and his "crown" is indeed elaborate. It has three golden points in the center of his forehead, a reddish-orange mask over his eyes, and thick ram's horns. He also holds the ankh scepter, but it's more of a staff. Some decks give him a shield with an imperial eagle; my deck shows a large bird flying overhead, possibly an eagle. My books states that he is often shown against a backdrop of mountains, another reference to worldly power. He has experience and wisdom. He is shown as a warrior, but he is a kind ruler. He has a passive attitude, as his body language portrays on my card, though he is willing to fight for what is right and what he believes in, as well as what he knows is his responsibility to protect. He is the leader, who has worked hard to reach his position of authority. My books says that this is a positive card in terms of worldly power.
As the Empress before him is the mother figure, so the Emperor is the father figure. In the family hierarchy, he is the one who sets the morals, traditions, and values for the rest of the family to follow. My books lists him as personifying solidarity, being the builder of the material world and striving for his constructs to be everlasting.

Details I've noticed:
On my card, the Emperor stands tall on the cliff of a mountain. He seems very regal, although he is wearing rough leather armor and an elaborate crown with ram horns (signifying worldly power). He seems to be overlooking things, and has a green ball in the center of his chest, one hand casually resting above it, as if it is hovering just below his fingertips. I'm not entirely sure what that ball represents, but I know it's important. It could represent the world, or it could represent morality, righteousness, wisdom, and experience. It could also be his "eye" to the world, since the bird who flies above him carries a greenish crystal ball in its talons. The two could be linked, with the bird helping him see over his domain... I'm not sure. He has a level of mystery about him, not just because of those balls but also because he wears a mask. His staff has the ankh on top of it, being the Egyptian "key of life", symbolizing (literally) eternal life and the duality and joining of male and female. Being that an ankh has four points, I see it also as a symbol of nature and the four elements. That says to me that not only is he strong and wise, but he rules over his domain, both physically and mentally. There is a lot of reds, oranges, and yellows in the background of the card, which to me just screams "power." He is Tarot Arcanum Four, with the number four representing foundation. Four, according to my book, is about "working hard and planning for security... a time for self-discipline through work and service, productivity, organization, unity." It suggests that if you are in a happy place, you have to work to keep it stable, and if you are in an unhappy place, you have to work to make the appropriate changes. The word "foundation" seems to fit the Emperor well.
Taking what I have gathered, I believe the Emperor to be the ultimate father figure, representing authority or perhaps an establishment or community of some sort. He can also represent an actual father or someone who is thought of as a father figure. He is experienced and wise, and knows not to go looking for a fight. However, he knows how to stand up for what he believes in and fight for what is right and good. I love the way my book worded it. The emperor is a teacher figure, and what he teaches is the meaning and use of power in this world of the here and now. Though not overtly aggressive, he tells us that it is necessary sometimes to take up arms against negative or evil forces. With the Emperor, there is no compromising with one's knowledge of what is right and good, no rationalizing that the ends justify the means. As a protective male force, especially of the home and of domestic harmony, he personifies the ideal that what is worth having is worth fighting for. I think he's a very respectable man.

Update:
Today is February 8th, 2014 and I am reviewing the cards I have already studied. Upon looking over the Emperor, I see a few things that I might view differently. I didn't pay quite a lot of attention to the book's interpretation when the card appears in a reading, which is more involved with the established order in terms of religion and following. As the Empress is the social aspect of our feminine, so too is the Emperor the social aspect of our masculine. Where the Empress and High Priestess are involved with our selves and inner worlds, the Hierophant and  Emperor are involved with the earthly world and our outer selves. The Emperor represents our masculine sides, our authority, morality, and the force within ourselves to fight for what we believe in. It is the father figure, and the dual opposite to the empress's mother figure. The swirls on his tabard go in both clockwise (deosil) and counterclockwise (widdershins) directions, showing his duality of creation and destruction. As the number four represents foundation and stability, so too does he represent the foundation of the family as a father, and the foundation of established religion, as a leader. This card in a reading might allude to ones need to connect with their inner masculine side and pair it in harmony to their feminine side. It might also represent someone's issues with authority, or trouble with their own father or their selves in relation to being a father. When it comes to dealing with the established religion, whichever it is you follow, he reminds you that he is a teacher and is there to help guide you, much the way the Empress does. The horns he wears on his head not only represent "world order" but stand for the horned god that accompanies the Great Mother (in most representations, as well as later in this deck, that representation is depicted as the horned god Pan).

Studying the Cards: Three-- The Empress

The interpretation given by my Everything Tarot book states:
When the Empress appears, there is a strong feminine element at work. As a mother figure and representative of the traditional female role, the Empress is a creative force that works for harmony. She brings disparate things together, reconciling differences, like a mother running a household must do. This is a card of emotional control and making things work together toward a common social goal.
As a female authority, her appearance may signify, depending on its place in the spread, the person's need to become that female authority, especially if the person is a woman. If a man, the indication is that he needs to recognize the feminine component of himself and acknowledge its power to harmonize.
The Empress also refers to the person's emotional and physical resources--for nurturing, healing, feeding, and supporting other people. Often, there is a situation in the person's life where deep and total love and nurturing are required--sometimes by the person him or herself, sometimes by others in the environment. This card is related to the caretaking process and may refer to the way the person was mothered and how he or she feels about that, for the first and most significant relationship we form is with our mother, and this relationship has a direct bearing on all subsequent relationships we form. Sometimes this card indicates that the person either had an overbearing "smother mother," or is acting out that role. It is an excellent card to use for mediation upon issues of nurturance, of marriage commitment, or of abundance.

For a reading:
You are in a position of nurturing someone else, or several others. This could be taking an obvious form, as in caring for children, or the sick, or being supportive of a spouse or friend in need. It could also refer to a pregnancy, or the desire for a pregnancy. It is appropriate for you to be giving nurturance now, for you have the inner strength and the ability to do so without harming or depleting yourself.

Description:
My book describes this card as symbolizing the social concept of the Universal Mother. That includes things like procreating, nurturing, and domestic harmony, things a housewife and mother take care of. It is a very positive card. She is a mature female, usually seated on a throne, though in some decks she is standing in a field surrounded by flowers and vegetation. On my card, she is standing outside, in a very bountiful stretch of land. There is a river flowing by her feet with a water lily drifting along the surface, a tall patch of wheat just behind her, and a tree with its branches full of ripe fruit. This is a symbol of the bounty of the Mother and of mother nature. She is "full-breasted and pregnant," alluding to her ability to be bountiful and fruitful, and her "earthly abundance." The Empress is the woman represented in all other religions in terms of fertile mother goddesses or the "Virgin Mary". She is the ultimate mother figure.
This is a royal position according to my book, which is why she is typically shown wearing a magnificent crown and holding a scepter. My Empress card has a shining crown, but it's not so much of a "crown" as it is a strand of shining stars trailing from the crown of her head, down her hair to the middle of her back. My card also holds a scepter, with the Triskele atop it. In many decks this card has a shield or a coat of arms present. In the Waite deck, there is a heart-shaped shield with the "female" symbol on it, the sign of Venus. There does not appear to be a shield on my card at all, but my Empress is holding a heart, and she wears the sign of Venus around her neck. Venus, as my book states, is the planet of love, beauty, desires, and pleasure. That is the most popular representation of femininity.

Details I've noticed:
On my card, the Empress is a very beautiful woman, at least in her twenties but with an ageless look to her. She has long brown hair, with a string of shining stars trailing from the crown of her head down to the middle of her back. I'm not sure what the stars represent, but the fact that they are shining makes me think of something being at the peak of it's perfection, at it's most beautiful moment in life, as well as the fact that stars are often called upon as guides to lead lost sailors across the oceans; perhaps this is a symbol of how the motherly instinct of the Empress is to nurture, guide, and aid those in need. She is also wearing a beautiful pink and purple strapless gown, one that is very form-fitting and shows off her figure. Her figure, of course, is one that is quite pregnant with full breasts and an enlarged stomach. This may also be another thing the stars represent, because when a woman is pregnant a lot of people say that she is "glowing." This glowing is also represented by the flush in her cheeks.
Also on my card, she is surrounded by a beautiful nature scene, bountiful and healthy. There is a tree behind her, with large ripe fruits hanging from it's branches. There is a patch of tall golden wheat behind her to her left, ready to be harvested. In front of her, a clear river flows gently, lined by small gray stones. There are nine stones visible, nine being the number of completion and wholeness. She is stepping over the stones and has one foot dipped into the water. Water is a strong symbol for emotions, and this card is all about the emotional and social aspect of the female. This card also has butterflies and dragonflies on it. I'm not really feeling any specific symbolism to them.
My Empress has the sign of Venus around her neck, which of course makes perfect sense with this being the ultimate feminine card. She carries a staff, holding it with both hands, in such a way that seems to cradle her unborn child. There is a heart dangling from her hands, ironically sitting right where her reproductive organs are located (that made me laugh, to see that THAT part of her is marked with love, when she is the representation of fertility). What really captures my attention on this card, apart from the Empress herself, is her scepter. At the top of her scepter is a crescent moon with a triskele. The crescent moon, as I've come to learn, represents the spiritual world. The triskele (or triskelion) is a very powerful symbol, and part of why I love this card so much. It is the symbol of three; and as this is Tarot Arcanum Three, it means that much more. It is the culmination of the one and two before it. It is bringing together opposites to create balance and unity. It is Mind, Body and Spirit; it is The Creator, The Destroyer, and the Sustainer; it is the Mother, Father, and Child; it is the Start, the End, and the Journey; it is the Spiritual world, the Physical world, and the Otherworld. It is all of these, and it is beautiful. The power of three could not have been placed on a better card than the Empress.
To take what I know and apply it to my understanding of this card, I would say that the Empress is the Female card, representing bounty, fertility, and the feminine side of things. Because she is pregnant, she also represents nurturing, caring, helping, feeding, love, and compassion. This card also represents bringing things together to form something new or find a unity between two things.

Update:
Today is February 8th, 2014, and I am reviewing the cards I have already studied. I don't have much to add to this card, since everything I view is still the same here. The Empress represents the female aspect, and the more social aspect (whereas the High Priestess represented the feminine inner self, the Empress represents the feminine social). This social idea means nurturing, compassion, and the more motherly traits. For a man, this card tells him that he needs to get more in touch with his feminine side and learn to harmonize that with his masculinity. I am in the early weeks of my third pregnancy right now, and so this card represents a bit more to me now than it did before. Despite all of the more negative symptoms that a mother might go through during pregnancy, the Empress still stands tall and strong for both herself, her family, and those around her. I think it is for this reason that she is such a strong regal symbol of authority. She represents bounty, harvest, and health. She is a very positive card indeed.