The very first thing I see is a heart, followed by a five pointed star. Good beginning.
I see a man and a woman, their faces close together. They are interacting in some way, talking maybe. They are close. Together, they begin to drift farther and farther into the distance. Up close again, I now see a beautiful, fully blossomed tree of life. Then, a large rabbit the size of the tree hops into view.
Now there is a white bird flying (maybe a dove?). It seems to be struggling a lot, something is blasting it with a chaotic force over and over, and the force keeps getting stronger and more frequent.
I see some shapes that resemble children but it is hard to tell. Throughout the jumble of images I am able to pick out a dinosaur and a bat. Then I see a few items, but they do not seem random. They seem to be in a specific order, like they are telling a story. The items are (in order): bells (like wedding bells), shoes, dolls, dancing, sex (between a man and at least one woman, but they were so tangled in each others arms you could not tell).
I see the letter E. Then it progresses into daily life. There is cleaning, and someone serving another. There is fire, emotional I think. Then a random duck appears, briefly.
Someone is wishing for something, I see this via hands rubbing a genie's lamp. There is someone or something all seeing, watching over as a tornado strikes. Now unseen, more cleaning. Always cleaning, always unseen and cleaning.
The white bird returns, struggling against a storm. Then there is another five pointed star, flowers, and the word DARK repeatedly, as if to ensure I saw it. There is a calming peace, a prosperous beehive, and music that brings to mind contentment and ease. However, DARK comes again, this time with fire.
All of this so far, I feel like belongs to someone else. And I have a good idea of who the someones were! This last bit is about me.
There is now a small bird making a very long journey. It seems to be trying to undergo some sort of metamorphosis. It is having a hard time. It is also tethered... to me.
Animals flash through the vision. Dolphin, squid, cat. The walls are closing in on the poor bird, from the south. The moon hangs ever-present and grows stronger. As it does so, the small bird faces less and less struggles. It becomes something bigger and better, and can now fight against the oncoming storm.
Right after expressing my desire to end my scrying, I am shown letters. They spell Brentley, then the word 'Cards'.
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
01/08/14 Tarot Reading (Older Deck)
Well, I wasn't going to put readings in this blog unless they were from my Crystal Visions deck. However, I knew I had to record this SOMEWHERE, because it was a huge important reading, and I wanted to be able to share it with those who it may affect without having to type it via Facebook chat.
First of all, a bit of background as to why I did this reading, and something interesting I noticed afterwards, before I began to type it up. Yesterday I was talking to my best friend and we wrote a healing spell. I was really happy with the way it came out, I felt proud of it because I felt a lot of power and potential in it. Earlier today hubby and I had revisited a discussion we have at least once a week: will he lose his job at work due to the unfortunate circumstances that arose last December? And if he finds a new job, will we be staying here in our area, or even in our state, or will we be moving across the country?
These are questions we ask ourselves and each other often. Mostly because we are both worried for the future and what will happen, where we will go, and who we will live near. We have family stretched across the U.S., so wherever we go we will be closer to some and farther from others. It's a win-lose-win however we look at it (but definitely always more of a positive than a negative).
So today I decided that hubby was stressed out enough as it is, and that the healing spell could help him out. I have never actually cast a spell, or performed a real ritual, so I was sort of winging it to the best of my ability. And I figured that, worst case scenario, it acts as a prayer rather than a spell... which is still putting good energy out there towards my hubby.
The Ritual
First, I got out a plain white ceramic bowl, a white candle, and a small twig of sage. On a piece of an index card, I wrote the following spell:
Light of Hope, Light of Faith
Heal him with your warm embrace.
My love and friend, he needs you now
His mind and body please endow
Share your strength, share your power
I ask you Goddess, in this Hour
Send away the pain and strife,
Lift his spirits--heal his life.
On the back of the card, I wrote:
For my husband, Michael Burton
Please help him find a good job, that pays well, that he will enjoy, that will heal him and make him feel better, something that will be good for him... for us all.
I then lit the candle, and without thinking rolled the wax around a bit to drip into the base of the candleholder, to make sure the candle didnt tip. Doing this cleared my mind. I took the sage and held the tip to the flame, and did a small smudging of the area I was sitting in, preforming this little ritual. Afterwards I set it in the ceramic bowl, and while it continued to smoke, I started talking to the Goddess. I just spoke outloud, the way I would talk to a friend, but I was very respectful and asked her nicely if she would please help me cast this spell, and if she would help my hubby, who needed her strength and healing. I said the spell, and as I spoke the last line, I touched the edge of the paper to the candle and watched it begin to burn. Once half of the page was lit, I placed it gently into the ceramic bowl on top of the sage and sat there patiently watching it burn until it was nothing but ash. I didnt know how to conclude a ritual, but I knew that as a Roman Catholic, at the end of mass, we take communion (the body and blood of Christ) and I recently read something saying rituals commonly include cake and ale. I figured it was much the same idea, and though I did not have cake and ale, I had a small stuffed mushroom and some black tea, which I said out loud would have to be my replacement. Then I thanked the goddess for her time, offered "Blessed be" as a final word, and blew out the candle.
~~~
Well, wouldn't you know it, exactly three hours after completing the ritual, hubby gets a phone call.
He has been putting his resume out there on the internet, and someone called from Virginia. Not for a job in Virginia, but from a company that assists veterans and military in finding jobs when they get out of the service. They were talking about a job opening in Salt Lake City, Utah... where my dad lives. One of the places we had been looking at moving to, if they ever had a job. The starting salary naturally is lower than what he makes now, which is to be expected, but it's not a terrible drop. He asked hubby to send him a copy of his resume to put in for it. So, we will see what happens with that. But it was too much of a coincidence for it to be simply chance. I brought this with my spell. I was ecstatic at first... until I thought about my best friend.
My best friend moved out here to be closer to me. We had a rough patch, then reconnected. It would kill us both to be so far apart again. Then I was reminded of a dream I had last year. Right after the circumstances that made us consider a move in the first place. In the dream, I got two words: March, and Five. I was thinking about how I wanted a baby girl, and how I thought my friend might get pregnant and wanted to know when. But after today, I started to wonder if perhaps that reading was actually telling me when a new sort of life would begin. I did a moon scrying last month and asked about a baby, and the only definitive answer I got was the number 2. So now there are three words I received, and nothing to do but wait and see how they fit into my life. However, March is coming up fast, and I'm wondering if maybe "new life" is going to be a new life in Utah. But the number 2... will that mean the duality and friendship me and my bestie share will not be broken by the distance IF we do move? I needed to know more. So here is the Celtic Cross reading I did.
Also, keep in mind that everything comes in threes... It took THREE hours between the ritual ending and the phone ringing. There are THREE Major Arcana cards in this reading. The Empress--Major Arcanum THREE--is in the reading. She is a HUGE representation of the three for me, so I know she is the third.
If you don't want to read each individual card and what I gathered from it, at the bottom I give a short summary of what this means to me. Feel free to skip ahead if you like. =)
Celtic Cross Spread
Card 1: This covers you. Describes the querent's immediate concerns.
16: The Falling Tower
I'm concerned with the idea of moving. Of breaking out of this bad habit we are in, this horrible house and the constant saying "one day we'll get a better house." I'm concerned with hubby losing his current job, and us moving far from my best friend. My Everything Tarot Book says that sometimes, there IS a real loss... in this case, I'm worried that the loss will be my best friend... but that overall, the idea that things would have to change eventually could have easily been foreseen, and that I know it's time to let go of our current lifestyle and move on to better things. But I'm unsure how to move forward from here if the time does come that we move, especially if that move is to Utah.
Card 2: This crosses you. Describes obstacles facing the querent.
Ace of Wands
The obstacle presented is clearly moving to a new job. My Everything Tarot Book describes "a new beginning of an enterprise involving business or finance." Clearly the idea of actually leaving behind my discontent and negative energy is daunting... can I REALLY do something that is GOOD for me? But mostly, this is a new job opportunity for hubby. This card represents the possibility of him relocating us to Utah, if he is offered the position.
Card 3: This crowns you. Describes what is known to the querent objectively.
Eight of Cups
I know for a fact that it is time to get out of this house. The only option here, if the job becomes a definite thing, is to take it and move. This house is falling apart, we tried to fix it, and it just gets worse regardless of what we do. It is--on our financial budget--a lost cause. We know it, our families know it, the DOG knows it. Time to move on. Though, the reason this card feels sad in this reading, is because I will be leaving my best friend.
Card 4: This is beneath you. Describes past influences affecting the situation.
Nine of Swords
The past influences this card is describing are the events of last December, the entire reason we are looking for a new job and house in the first place. We are being forced to make changes, though I WILL see this as a positive card... we are being guided to step up and make the changes that we have continuously put off time and again. The fear and anxiety this card talks about is not just my own negativity from the prison of this house, but it is also the fear, anxiety, and disappointment of my hubby who strives to offer his family the life he feels they deserve.
Card 5: This is behind you. Describes past influences now fading away.
Queen of Wands
Without even needing to look this card up, I know it represents myself and my own mental and emotional struggles over the past years. This card is my Significator. You see, after being in this house for so long, alone and with only my depression to comfort me, marriage problems were arrising and we both knew that this house was the biggest change we could make. The first time we ever said out loud, in agreement, "One day, we will leave this house," it was like seeing the sun for the first time. It gave me hope and gave me something to look forward to. Now that me and my best friend are together again, it is no wonder that this card and it's influence in our reasons for leaving is in the position of fading away. I have not felt the depression since we reconnected. My emotional state is no longer the driving force behind our decision.
Card 6: This is before you. Describes new circumstances coming into being.
3: The Empress
For months I have been getting the Empress card in readings. For months, I have been reading for a hopefully-soon future pregnancy. I have been seeing children and the Empress both in my dreams, in my tarot readings, and in my scrying. Now, either this card is tossing in the "Hey by the way, dont forget, a pregnancy is coming soon!" or it represents something more. For example, the idea that I must be nurturing of my friendship with my bestie, most especially if our friendship becomes long distance again. It has caused me to wonder if perhaps all the "new life" I've been seeing in my visions is actually a true NEW LIFE, a new start, and new changes. As this card always comes in threes for me, I know the third meaning behind it is my newfound delving into spirituality. I am nurturing myself and my knowledge, and as three can also represent the motion of life, I am walking my path and growing as a person. Of course, even with the possibility of a move in the near future, I will still pray for a daughter. ;)
Card 7: This is your Self. Describes the querent's current state of mind.
19: The Sun
Okay I want to start out saying how perfectly this card fits-- as do they all, really, but this one in particular. Ever since getting my best friend back and officially coming out and being determined and proud in my spirituality, life has been up. I'm happy, I'm not depressed, I'm full of energy (most days) and I know that everything will be okay no matter what. I am motivated to learn and I am gaining confidence in myself. My current state of mind is that the Goddess has heard my prayers and will arrange things so it all works out, even if I don't understand her methods at this moment.
Card 8: This is your House. Describes what surrounds the situation.
Six of Coins
Now, this card makes sense, but not quite in the way the book describes. The book describes this card to mean that I am financially stable, and in a stateof abundance and prosperity. Not that we're doing badly, we get along just fine and usually have a little extra to spend. But this card is telling me that what is surrounding the situation is the opportunity to be abundant. The opportunity to have good coming toward us in the form of a new job. The opportunity for us to NOT experience financial insecurity. Basically, it's saying not to worry about what happens IF hubby loses his job, because we will be okay financially.
Card 9: This is what you hope or fear. Describes what the querent wants and/or fears.
Knight of Swords
This card represents action. It represents how much I want to get out of this house, how aggressive I am being in my spiritual affirmations, and how I expect everything will work out, that I will be in control. At the same time, he represents the fear I have of a struggle, of the conflict of being far from my best friend and what we can do about it. The fear that I will lose that battle, or be powerless to do anything positive toward the situation.
Card 10: This is what will come. Describes the likely future outcome.
Ten of Wands
This card calmed me down, but only slightly. It speaks of a new cycle, new responsibilities, and heavy burdens that I feel I CAN carry. This is good, because it is saying that no matter what happens, I have the faith that I can handle it. It does speak of possibly carrying more than my fair share of the weight, however, and this put one thought into my mind... the future outcome still has yet to be decided. It doesn't matter whether we move or not, I can handle a move. And if my bestie and I are far apart again, we've done it before and we did okay. What it means most though, is that I can ask for help. I dont have to sit here and worry about keeping in touch and being alone. Because hey, the strain and burden of moving is not just my own... my bestie and her man have also had moving on their minds. Who's to say they dont consider Utah too?
Summary:
I'm excited at the thought of hubby getting this new job. It stops us from worrying about what we'll do if he loses his current job, it brings us closer to my dad, it brings us to a part of the country that we enjoy visiting, it gives us the opportunity to find a new house and some land up north, and it will be an adventure. There is NO GUARANTEE that he will even get the job, and this all may be for naught. But one thing these cards are telling me for sure: something new is coming. And it's coming soon. A new adventure and a new aspect of life are headed our way, and no matter what, my friend and I can get through it TOGETHER.
Edit: Just a little amendment to the end of that, but I always ask for one last clarification card after a reading, for some advice. I got the 5 of cups. It tells me that all the freaking out I'm doing and worrying, I need to calm down. That I have a CHOICE, and that rather than sitting here worrying about what happened or what might go wrong, I can consider what can go RIGHT. All about the choice and how we look at it.
First of all, a bit of background as to why I did this reading, and something interesting I noticed afterwards, before I began to type it up. Yesterday I was talking to my best friend and we wrote a healing spell. I was really happy with the way it came out, I felt proud of it because I felt a lot of power and potential in it. Earlier today hubby and I had revisited a discussion we have at least once a week: will he lose his job at work due to the unfortunate circumstances that arose last December? And if he finds a new job, will we be staying here in our area, or even in our state, or will we be moving across the country?
These are questions we ask ourselves and each other often. Mostly because we are both worried for the future and what will happen, where we will go, and who we will live near. We have family stretched across the U.S., so wherever we go we will be closer to some and farther from others. It's a win-lose-win however we look at it (but definitely always more of a positive than a negative).
So today I decided that hubby was stressed out enough as it is, and that the healing spell could help him out. I have never actually cast a spell, or performed a real ritual, so I was sort of winging it to the best of my ability. And I figured that, worst case scenario, it acts as a prayer rather than a spell... which is still putting good energy out there towards my hubby.
The Ritual
First, I got out a plain white ceramic bowl, a white candle, and a small twig of sage. On a piece of an index card, I wrote the following spell:
Light of Hope, Light of Faith
Heal him with your warm embrace.
My love and friend, he needs you now
His mind and body please endow
Share your strength, share your power
I ask you Goddess, in this Hour
Send away the pain and strife,
Lift his spirits--heal his life.
On the back of the card, I wrote:
For my husband, Michael Burton
Please help him find a good job, that pays well, that he will enjoy, that will heal him and make him feel better, something that will be good for him... for us all.
I then lit the candle, and without thinking rolled the wax around a bit to drip into the base of the candleholder, to make sure the candle didnt tip. Doing this cleared my mind. I took the sage and held the tip to the flame, and did a small smudging of the area I was sitting in, preforming this little ritual. Afterwards I set it in the ceramic bowl, and while it continued to smoke, I started talking to the Goddess. I just spoke outloud, the way I would talk to a friend, but I was very respectful and asked her nicely if she would please help me cast this spell, and if she would help my hubby, who needed her strength and healing. I said the spell, and as I spoke the last line, I touched the edge of the paper to the candle and watched it begin to burn. Once half of the page was lit, I placed it gently into the ceramic bowl on top of the sage and sat there patiently watching it burn until it was nothing but ash. I didnt know how to conclude a ritual, but I knew that as a Roman Catholic, at the end of mass, we take communion (the body and blood of Christ) and I recently read something saying rituals commonly include cake and ale. I figured it was much the same idea, and though I did not have cake and ale, I had a small stuffed mushroom and some black tea, which I said out loud would have to be my replacement. Then I thanked the goddess for her time, offered "Blessed be" as a final word, and blew out the candle.
~~~
Well, wouldn't you know it, exactly three hours after completing the ritual, hubby gets a phone call.
He has been putting his resume out there on the internet, and someone called from Virginia. Not for a job in Virginia, but from a company that assists veterans and military in finding jobs when they get out of the service. They were talking about a job opening in Salt Lake City, Utah... where my dad lives. One of the places we had been looking at moving to, if they ever had a job. The starting salary naturally is lower than what he makes now, which is to be expected, but it's not a terrible drop. He asked hubby to send him a copy of his resume to put in for it. So, we will see what happens with that. But it was too much of a coincidence for it to be simply chance. I brought this with my spell. I was ecstatic at first... until I thought about my best friend.
My best friend moved out here to be closer to me. We had a rough patch, then reconnected. It would kill us both to be so far apart again. Then I was reminded of a dream I had last year. Right after the circumstances that made us consider a move in the first place. In the dream, I got two words: March, and Five. I was thinking about how I wanted a baby girl, and how I thought my friend might get pregnant and wanted to know when. But after today, I started to wonder if perhaps that reading was actually telling me when a new sort of life would begin. I did a moon scrying last month and asked about a baby, and the only definitive answer I got was the number 2. So now there are three words I received, and nothing to do but wait and see how they fit into my life. However, March is coming up fast, and I'm wondering if maybe "new life" is going to be a new life in Utah. But the number 2... will that mean the duality and friendship me and my bestie share will not be broken by the distance IF we do move? I needed to know more. So here is the Celtic Cross reading I did.
Also, keep in mind that everything comes in threes... It took THREE hours between the ritual ending and the phone ringing. There are THREE Major Arcana cards in this reading. The Empress--Major Arcanum THREE--is in the reading. She is a HUGE representation of the three for me, so I know she is the third.
If you don't want to read each individual card and what I gathered from it, at the bottom I give a short summary of what this means to me. Feel free to skip ahead if you like. =)
Celtic Cross Spread
Card 1: This covers you. Describes the querent's immediate concerns.
16: The Falling Tower
I'm concerned with the idea of moving. Of breaking out of this bad habit we are in, this horrible house and the constant saying "one day we'll get a better house." I'm concerned with hubby losing his current job, and us moving far from my best friend. My Everything Tarot Book says that sometimes, there IS a real loss... in this case, I'm worried that the loss will be my best friend... but that overall, the idea that things would have to change eventually could have easily been foreseen, and that I know it's time to let go of our current lifestyle and move on to better things. But I'm unsure how to move forward from here if the time does come that we move, especially if that move is to Utah.
Card 2: This crosses you. Describes obstacles facing the querent.
Ace of Wands
The obstacle presented is clearly moving to a new job. My Everything Tarot Book describes "a new beginning of an enterprise involving business or finance." Clearly the idea of actually leaving behind my discontent and negative energy is daunting... can I REALLY do something that is GOOD for me? But mostly, this is a new job opportunity for hubby. This card represents the possibility of him relocating us to Utah, if he is offered the position.
Card 3: This crowns you. Describes what is known to the querent objectively.
Eight of Cups
I know for a fact that it is time to get out of this house. The only option here, if the job becomes a definite thing, is to take it and move. This house is falling apart, we tried to fix it, and it just gets worse regardless of what we do. It is--on our financial budget--a lost cause. We know it, our families know it, the DOG knows it. Time to move on. Though, the reason this card feels sad in this reading, is because I will be leaving my best friend.
Card 4: This is beneath you. Describes past influences affecting the situation.
Nine of Swords
The past influences this card is describing are the events of last December, the entire reason we are looking for a new job and house in the first place. We are being forced to make changes, though I WILL see this as a positive card... we are being guided to step up and make the changes that we have continuously put off time and again. The fear and anxiety this card talks about is not just my own negativity from the prison of this house, but it is also the fear, anxiety, and disappointment of my hubby who strives to offer his family the life he feels they deserve.
Card 5: This is behind you. Describes past influences now fading away.
Queen of Wands
Without even needing to look this card up, I know it represents myself and my own mental and emotional struggles over the past years. This card is my Significator. You see, after being in this house for so long, alone and with only my depression to comfort me, marriage problems were arrising and we both knew that this house was the biggest change we could make. The first time we ever said out loud, in agreement, "One day, we will leave this house," it was like seeing the sun for the first time. It gave me hope and gave me something to look forward to. Now that me and my best friend are together again, it is no wonder that this card and it's influence in our reasons for leaving is in the position of fading away. I have not felt the depression since we reconnected. My emotional state is no longer the driving force behind our decision.
Card 6: This is before you. Describes new circumstances coming into being.
3: The Empress
For months I have been getting the Empress card in readings. For months, I have been reading for a hopefully-soon future pregnancy. I have been seeing children and the Empress both in my dreams, in my tarot readings, and in my scrying. Now, either this card is tossing in the "Hey by the way, dont forget, a pregnancy is coming soon!" or it represents something more. For example, the idea that I must be nurturing of my friendship with my bestie, most especially if our friendship becomes long distance again. It has caused me to wonder if perhaps all the "new life" I've been seeing in my visions is actually a true NEW LIFE, a new start, and new changes. As this card always comes in threes for me, I know the third meaning behind it is my newfound delving into spirituality. I am nurturing myself and my knowledge, and as three can also represent the motion of life, I am walking my path and growing as a person. Of course, even with the possibility of a move in the near future, I will still pray for a daughter. ;)
Card 7: This is your Self. Describes the querent's current state of mind.
19: The Sun
Okay I want to start out saying how perfectly this card fits-- as do they all, really, but this one in particular. Ever since getting my best friend back and officially coming out and being determined and proud in my spirituality, life has been up. I'm happy, I'm not depressed, I'm full of energy (most days) and I know that everything will be okay no matter what. I am motivated to learn and I am gaining confidence in myself. My current state of mind is that the Goddess has heard my prayers and will arrange things so it all works out, even if I don't understand her methods at this moment.
Card 8: This is your House. Describes what surrounds the situation.
Six of Coins
Now, this card makes sense, but not quite in the way the book describes. The book describes this card to mean that I am financially stable, and in a stateof abundance and prosperity. Not that we're doing badly, we get along just fine and usually have a little extra to spend. But this card is telling me that what is surrounding the situation is the opportunity to be abundant. The opportunity to have good coming toward us in the form of a new job. The opportunity for us to NOT experience financial insecurity. Basically, it's saying not to worry about what happens IF hubby loses his job, because we will be okay financially.
Card 9: This is what you hope or fear. Describes what the querent wants and/or fears.
Knight of Swords
This card represents action. It represents how much I want to get out of this house, how aggressive I am being in my spiritual affirmations, and how I expect everything will work out, that I will be in control. At the same time, he represents the fear I have of a struggle, of the conflict of being far from my best friend and what we can do about it. The fear that I will lose that battle, or be powerless to do anything positive toward the situation.
Card 10: This is what will come. Describes the likely future outcome.
Ten of Wands
This card calmed me down, but only slightly. It speaks of a new cycle, new responsibilities, and heavy burdens that I feel I CAN carry. This is good, because it is saying that no matter what happens, I have the faith that I can handle it. It does speak of possibly carrying more than my fair share of the weight, however, and this put one thought into my mind... the future outcome still has yet to be decided. It doesn't matter whether we move or not, I can handle a move. And if my bestie and I are far apart again, we've done it before and we did okay. What it means most though, is that I can ask for help. I dont have to sit here and worry about keeping in touch and being alone. Because hey, the strain and burden of moving is not just my own... my bestie and her man have also had moving on their minds. Who's to say they dont consider Utah too?
Summary:
I'm excited at the thought of hubby getting this new job. It stops us from worrying about what we'll do if he loses his current job, it brings us closer to my dad, it brings us to a part of the country that we enjoy visiting, it gives us the opportunity to find a new house and some land up north, and it will be an adventure. There is NO GUARANTEE that he will even get the job, and this all may be for naught. But one thing these cards are telling me for sure: something new is coming. And it's coming soon. A new adventure and a new aspect of life are headed our way, and no matter what, my friend and I can get through it TOGETHER.
Edit: Just a little amendment to the end of that, but I always ask for one last clarification card after a reading, for some advice. I got the 5 of cups. It tells me that all the freaking out I'm doing and worrying, I need to calm down. That I have a CHOICE, and that rather than sitting here worrying about what happened or what might go wrong, I can consider what can go RIGHT. All about the choice and how we look at it.
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